Viewing 29 posts - 1 through 29 (of 29 total)
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  • #31150

    lajp
    Participant

    Please, please help me. I found this forum just a few weeks ago and I am highly attracted to it and decided to register so that I can participate in the forums more actively.

    I am 20 years old, part-time college student (working towards Associates in Arts), part-time waitress, and full-time depressed person. Haha.

    What is TMS like on the first session? Like when they are programming it for you specifically and what does it feel like? How loud is it? You can read all there is “About TMS” but hearing it from other people’s specific experience is a better gauge than TMS treatment websites.

    I am autistic and with that I have sensory issues and sometimes experience small things like tapping and sounds, sensations, etc. stronger than the average person. I also have TMJ issues which involves headaches and jaw pain. How much of the time do any of you experience side effects and if so, what relieves them.

    I also want to know how do you resume daily functioning. Is it possible to manage college courses AND evening work shifts? I am taking less credit hours this semester to accommodate my treatment.

    • This topic was modified 3 months, 1 week ago by  lajp.
    #31155

    jrb923
    Participant

    Hi, I experienced a lot of anxiety before my first TMS appointment post consultation. However the appointment itself went very well. At the first appointment I found the tapping to be uncomfortable but not painful, and I got used to it very quickly so that after the first few treatments it was not even uncomfortable for me anymore. I have had no side effects at all, no headache, no pain of any kind, and It does not interfere with doing anything else. I can get in a car and drive right after the appointment.
    Regarding the noise, for me it is not an issue at all. I wear ear plugs given to me by the clinic at each treatment. I do not find the tapping noise disturbing at all.

    #31161

    lajp
    Participant

    Thank you for sharing your experience at the first treatment session. It’s helpful to hear from real people and not people who constructed a brochure. Haha.

    #31163

    jrb923
    Participant

    You are very welcome, I hope you will keep us updated as to how it goes. Try to hang in there if it feels uncomfortable at first because often it gets better pretty quickly!

    #31164

    lajp
    Participant

    Had my first appointment and mine are 5x a week. I know some places do 4x a week…? The first 2 second tap after “calibration” was at 100% and that was too much for me. The doc and technician were soooo very helpful and accommodating by slowing down, they did it at 80% and today they did it at 85% today. So far headaches and jaw pain and sleepiness are the after/side effects that have hit me the most. Have you felt tired and lethargic following the sessions? I’m basically “signed off” for the day and probably won’t commit to anything. Like yes I could run errands but I don’t feel super obligated because I can’t handle all that right now.

    #31165

    jrb923
    Participant

    Hi, sorry to hear you are getting side effects, and I hope they will decrease or go away with more sessions.
    I have not felt tired or lethargic after my sessions, no. But everyone is unique. I guess I am fortunate because I really have no side effects.
    Five times a week is definitely the best way to go. That is the proven protocol that has been studied. It sounds like you have a really good doctor and technician. That is great.
    A lot of people start at a lower calibration and work up to their recommended highest level, so you are doing great so far.
    Good for you for relaxing and taking care of yourself while you adjust to this. There is no need to push yourself if you don’t have to!

    #31166

    lajp
    Participant

    Okay yeah. I also am autistic so sensory wise I might get sensory overload quicker than another person. I’m glad to know that it’s not too atypical to build up the percentage. I feel like it was more burdensome to have them do that but I think now that them “going out” of their way to best accommodate really speaks to how understanding they are. I just woke up from a nice nap which I’m glad I have the ability to take. I am a college student part-time and hold a part-time job. I’ve been lucky enough to be able to reduce my credit hours and work hours.

    A big hallmark and advertising point they seem to use for TMS everywhere is that “you can even return to work!” but physical ability and then mental and emotional ability are two different things. Were there times where it was more difficult to get back on “track” and resume activities, tasks, and other responsibilities? If so, how did you manage them. If not, what do you think could help?

    Thanks for sharing your story and experience as I know it’s not the easiest thing to do.

    #31167

    jrb923
    Participant

    Hi, I am hoping maybe someone else will chime in here because I don’t have an answer for you really… I have not found that TMS impacts my ability to get things done or resume activities and tasks and responsibilities- depression impacts my abilities way more! I am still in the middle of doing my TMS session, not done yet.

    #31193

    Diana
    Participant

    Hi, I started my TMS treatments on Jan. 2, 2018. I never heard of it until a few weeks ago on a Dr.Phil rerun they had on a Doctor, and they showed brain scans before and after TMS. I thought wow, I have to try that. Since for the last couple of years I have tried about 10 different meds with little results. I was and still am skeptical. That’s just how I am. My first visit was easy. Sure I had a little pain into my left eye, it has gotten better. The tapping doesn’t bother me. I was so tired a few times from working that I started to fall asleep in the chair. The techs are great at the place I go to. Now the first 2 weeks I felt the same. But last week….I noticed that I wasn’t in such a hurry to go to bed at night ( I enjoyed sleeping so much because, its like death without the commitment). I don’t feel happy but I’m starting not to feel that…..horrible…total hopelessness, like what is the sense in even breathing type of feeling. And when asked what I’m sad about my answer has always been the same…Everything and Nothing. That is the only was I can describe it. Weekends (since I don’t have to work weekends) had been me getting up eating, and going back to bed. I am ashamed to say at times not wanting or getting a bath. And that is so…not me. This past weekend was the first time in a couple years I felt a glimmer of hope. Just a glimmer. Something is working. And believe me I am skeptical. But…..we will see how it goes. I am at 15 of 36 treatments. I just feel different. Not like a huge change but I am not feeling as I had. This was my last resort. I hate to say this and I don’t mean to be negative, but some will understand. I had gotten to the point that, I just had enough, and life was getting to be, just…not for me. A friend recently asked about depression and he could not believe what I said…..If someone gave me all the money in the world, it would not change a thing I would still feel this way, it would not matter. He was shocked, thinking that. money or things or spouses etc. can magically make you better. It just does not work that way for a Major Depressive Disorder which is what I have been diagnosed with. I will now encourage people to try TMS and I hope I continue to feel better. Even if I stay the way I feel now which is a tiny bit better, I’d take that. For me, the tiny bit of pain (which some people don’t even feel that) and the tapping….that is nothing compared to how I felt. My doctor asked me the other week if I can tollerate that pain I get in my eye, I told him, at that point he could jabb a pencil in my eye and I’d be fine with it, if it took my depression away. : )

    #31194

    Diana
    Participant

    Jrb,
    I agree. Depression is what makes me not do things and makes that I can’t get going in life. Some of my TMS appointments I do over my lunch break and go right back to work and not miss a beat. And believe me the first 2 weeks were so hard to keep a positive attitude and to keep going. But I am so glad I did not stop. I will continue with all 36. I actually can’t wait to go back tomorrow at lunch for my next visit. I’m telling you, when you get that glimmer of hope, that you have not felt in years…and after trying so many meds…..its almost like you can’t believe it.

    #31195

    lajp
    Participant

    Wow I’m so proud of you for trying this out (TMS) after just hearing about it relatively a short while ago. I would have said it differently but I’m typing on my phone and do not want to backspace lol. I totally understand how you feel about life not being for you. As if you weren’t meant for “it” (life) and I hope you don’t have to feel like that again.

    #31196

    Diana
    Participant

    Stick with it and see what happens. And if you need to rest or take the it easy after treatment, then do that. Everyone is different. I wish you all the best. Keep us updated.

    #31197

    jrb923
    Participant

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience Diana. I am diagnosed w major depressive disorder too and I can so relate to what you have shared. Feeling like there is no hope, no meaning, no purpose, no light at the end of the tunnel, no future… just to feel a glimmer of feeling alive and competent and motivated and maybe even hopeful from the TMS, for the first time in so long I can’t remember… that blew me away. I have two weeks left of the TMS, it has been so far not linear like just feeling better and better, sometimes better then worse then better etc, but I am committed to seeing it through because like you shared, years and years of being very depressed and medications really not helping and finally when I stumbled on this TMS deciding if there is a chance that this will help it is worth it and maybe it will save my life.

    #31198

    Diana
    Participant

    Jrb,
    Your welcome. I am not one for writing things especially personal things in public like this. Even some of my close friends have no idea I have lived with depression for decades. But at times it was manageable, until a few years ago. Now I am to the point where I truly hit rock bottom and you get to the point where, your tired of hiding it, and having to make excuses as to why you can’t attend events etc. And I needed help. Again today I feel decent, and I just can’t believe it. Now I am not happy and care free…but I am just……feeling ok and like I can handle whatever happens. Jrb best wishes with your treatment and we will see this through to the end. I am committed to finish it.

    #31199

    jrb923
    Participant

    One of the things that is so awful to me about depression is feeling like I have to hide it or cover it up and pretend to be feeling good for people around me… the shame… when I started the TMS I felt like I was taking a step out of the closet of shame.
    I am not happy and carefree either but definitely feeling a noticeable difference, like a burden I have carried has been lifted, like some of the really negative thought patterns that ran my life no longer have such a grip on me, and there is possibility to have good experiences. Right when I wake up in the morning is still the most difficult time for me … but once I am up it seems like it lifts noticeably.
    I realize now that a lot of my experience of life and my ingrained thoughts and beliefs about life were projections of my inner depression and not real.

    #31214

    colleencasey
    Participant

    Hi everyone:
    WOW what honesty and courage on this thread! All of you are to be commended for your strength in your continuous efforts through challenging times when dealing with (I call them) brain disorders resulting in mental illness. Just a quirk of mine. I am almost 67 and had this treatment when I was 60. All of what you say rings a common thread through my heart and brain. I am not autistic but am HSP so I have a sensory sensitivity that I find at times quite challenging to deal with. This thread brings to the surface so many issues that we have in common.
    I will contribute briefly about the results of TMS on my life in this entry.
    Treatments were not uncomfortable for me but I was tired after each one. I did work throughout treatments, then traveled 2 hours to treatment and 2 hours home. It was a very long day for 6 weeks 5 days a week and then tapers after. It was a journey of ups and downs, many tears and fears, (as this is a medical treatment but we tend to forget that because our disorders are not visible), wanting to quit, loosing hope, regaining optimism, etc. But the end result was and continues to be remission from depression! I go for 3 booster treatments per year. This has been life altering. I am free of the depression suffering. I handle the ups and downs of life in normal fashion now. I also look at recovery as an eclectic project – exercising, eating right, connection with others and have engaged in the NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) organization.
    Stay connected here, use your doctors and treatment teams, and take a caring not criticizing attitude towards yourself, your treatment and your recovery. There may be many questions throughout treatment so ask them of your doctors, treaters and here as well as your support systems. Sending best wishes for moving forward each day, step by step!

    #31215

    Diana
    Participant

    Wow that is great remission! I love to hear that. Last week as I said I started to feel a glimmer of hope…..but the last 2 days….were not that good. Not bad, but its like the glimmer of hope got smaller. But, I think that is just part of the process and I am ready to go back on Monday and stay positive, that ….this too shall pass. I like the idea of the booster treatments and I am so so so happy for you that your in remission. I swear even if it ends up not working for me (which I think it will)….am so glad when I hear others say it has done amazing things for them. Thank you for sharing your story! Best wished to you always.

    #31216

    jrb923
    Participant

    Yikes, I have one more week of five TMS sessions before taper. This morning I woke up feeling fear/dread that I had not felt since starting the TMS although before I started it was a daily occurrence to wake up feeling this way. I forgot how awful this is because I have been having relief from it for weeks now. It really scares me that it has come back! I hoped it would dissipate or disappear once I was up for an hour or two but it hasn’t yet. I am praying that I won’t wake up to this every day again after such a huge investment into TMS. I do not want to discourage anyone else, just feeling frightened right now.

    #31217

    jrb923
    Participant

    To continue from my last post… right now I feel pretty much like I did before starting the TMS… I I guess it helps me see how much the TMS has been making a difference, even though it hasn’t so far totally cured the depression and anxiety…. but I feel frightened and discouraged to wake up feeling this way, it seems like out of the blue for no reason. I have to somehow keep the faith I guess. To feel gripped by this negativity and fear again… ugh…. I do not want this to be my life!!

    #31218

    Diana
    Participant

    Jrb 484-629-5128 text me. I understand

    #31219

    lajp
    Participant

    I didn’t know how many people really did TMS and it’s really nice to know that it is more common than one might think. You can feel so much less alone. Thanks everyone!

    #31220

    colleencasey
    Participant

    Since we are patients and not doctors or coordinators, we are free to say what we want about TMS.
    First, depression is a chronic illness for most people – sometimes additional TMS treatments are not needed when the treatment is successful – My doctor is one of those patients. Some of us do need booster treatments (not a full six week course) afterwards. It may range from a few treatments one time a year to a treatment or two once a month or so. It is different for all of us. Some of us can go completely off medications and some of us need some medication during and after treatment. Just because treatment ends, doesn’t mean the treatment effects stops as well. The end of treatment may be the beginning of changes in the brain. When I spoke with my doctor, he and I both experienced effects from our individual treatments for a period of nine months after treatment ended. Its not that way for everyone but neither is how quickly or how long it takes to feel the effects of treatment. Try not to compare (yourself with others) but just discuss individual differences. It may be more helpful when gathering information, advice or just venting a frustration to keep in mind that this is YOUR journey. We are here to support each other but don’t define your own process or outcome by others. That is what makes the world an interesting experience – our differences. Also, there are off label treatment regimens that doctors are trying. Insurance won’t cover them but a discussion with your doctor may be worth a shot if your symptoms persist. I have 3 treatments in one day sometimes to address my suicidal ideation which, the normal regimen of treatments did not resolve when it was administered. And it works well for me. I know others who’s suicidal ideation was arrested during the initial course of treatment. Changes can be slow and steady or can be up and down. Monitoring by your doctor and treatment team is imperative since they are the experts in the field. Emotions and feelings can be on unsteady ground for awhile. If you are required by your doctor to fill out depression and anxiety scales, they can be a reality check (they were for me when I was confused and scared about the outcome). Stay connected.
    Thanks Diana for your encouragement. Sending that same encouragement to everyone!

    #31224

    Diana
    Participant

    The comment above, makes me not want to comment anymore. I am not sure what was meant by saying….”Try not to compare (yourself with others) but just discuss individual differences. It may be more helpful when gathering information, advice or just venting a frustration to keep in mind that this is YOUR journey”. So I will now delete my account. Good luck everyone.

    #31225

    colleencasey
    Participant

    Diana:
    First let me apologize for any hurt or negative feelings that you have in response to my post. That is not my intent at all, especially given the battle and challenges you and everyone else is waging against depression. I was trying to say that everyone’s journey is different so if someone experiences a lift at 2 weeks and someone else hasn’t experienced it at 4 weeks, that it doesn’t mean treatment isn’t working. That is all I meant and again I apologize for creating any misunderstanding of that point. I truly hope you don’t leave the forum as you are such a positive, supportive contributor. If you would like to talk in person so I can clarify, I would be very willing to do that. Again I apologize with sincerity and remorse for misstating my intent.
    Best,
    Colleen

    #31226

    Diana
    Participant

    Colleen,
    You just said ” I was trying to say that everyone’s journey is different so if someone experiences a lift at 2 weeks and someone else hasn’t experienced it at 4 weeks, that it doesn’t mean treatment isn’t working”. Ok, I NEVER said that it doesn’t mean treatment isn’t working. ?? I said a few times, I am committed to going and finishing my treatments. I was simply saying what was/is happening to me. I will not participate on a site where one’s words are scrutinized into what one “thinks” I said. Also you suggest we “Try not to compare (yourself with others) but just discuss individual differences.” Isn’t discussing individual differences similar to comparing yourself to others? So I can’t talk about my experience and compare it to how someone else is doing? Why not? You don’t have the market on telling people that to think, feel, or write do you? I feel with the above rules you seems to have set, that anything I say pertaining to my treatment and HOW I say it, will be picked apart. NO THANKS! I thought coming on here was for help not be judged on my words, I have enough to deal with in my life I don’t need a stranger picking at me within 3 days of me being on here. Thank you and Best wishes.

    #31228

    colleencasey
    Participant

    Thank you for responding Diana:
    I went back and have re-read our posts several times. First I should have made clearer that the post you are referring to was a generic post to everyone. So the comments were not made directly in response to yours. I am sorry that was not clearer. When I respond to one person individually I put their name at the top – but you never would have known that – our conversation brings to light that issue so I thank you for your thoughts and clarity. What happened was I had read several posts on several threads and was seeing some similar patterns that patients might be measuring their experiences against others and sometimes this can lead to misinterpretation of what an individual is going through and then discouragement. I was addressing that generic issue. When I wrote that post I was directing it to that issue and those who thought maybe their treatment wasn’t going the way it should. Sharing is the best way of gathering support, identifying similarities, raising questions, etc., and by no means did I mean to undermine that process or anyone’s participation in it. I value that and found it helpful in other arenas when I underwent treatment (TMS + You wasn’t available yet). You have enlightened me about what I need to make clearer when I respond and I apologize to you and appreciate your honesty.
    Colleen

    #31229

    jrb923
    Participant

    Just to update this thread from my post yesterday- today I did not wake up with the feelings of dread again or feeling like I did before I started TMS. I feel relieved.

    #31239

    lajp
    Participant

    That’s great to hear! I felt dread of TMS during the first week so stick with it! TMS can really be a life-saver. Definitely a game-changer.

    #31242

    colleencasey
    Participant

    jrb:
    That is good news! Glad you are feeling relief. Sending positive thoughts and support.
    Colleen

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