October 24, 2019 at 5:44 pm #34390
So I’m in a bit of a quandary. I’ve had 30 sessions of bilateral TMS for treatment of my depression and anxiety. I was feeling very depressed and without much hope at the start of the treatment. I didn’t notice any improvement for the first week. And then I experienced what seems like the dip, but without the initial positive response. I still haven’t gotten back to where I was before I started TMS.
The clinic I am going to has offered 5 additional treatments along with 5 taper sessions and is strongly encouraging me to continue, but I don’t know. There have been some factors outside of treatment that could be contributing to the worsening depression, but the actual decline started before any of those things happened.
During the worst part of the “dip”, I was having massive suicidal ideation. I had no intent nor want to commit suicide, but would see graphic scenes play out in my head of committing suicide 20-30 times a day. I tried relaying how bad things were to the technicians but all they would say is stick with it. My sleep has also gotten much more difficult as the treatment has progressed. The suicidal ideation has decreased significantly, but not gone away.
The clinic I go to has also refused to acknowledge that TMS could possibly be making things worse, and place the blame on other factors in my life. I admit that I haven’t been able to exercise or practice a good diet as it takes everything I have just to make it through the day, but I feel like I’m being blamed for my own failure. When I told them staff that I did not want to receive the taper sessions, they went in to a long-winded conversation about how there are in fact late responses and sometimes those happen after treatment has stopped and so on. I asked them again if it’s possible the treatment could have made things worse and they said it wasn’t a medication and had no side effects; that it only “activates sleeping neurons”. I pointed out the fact that more active neurons means that more neurotransmitters would be flowing about and that if I have a chemical imbalance in my brain they may not be functioning correctly, and they had no response. Now I’ll be the first to admit that I am not a neuroscientist, neurobiologist, psyiatrist, or psychopharmacologist, but if the treatment is doing something to help with depression, there is more going on than waving a wand and saying “neuronius awakus”.
Anyway, tl;dr is that I’m not sure if I should continue with the additional treatments and taper offered or just go back to my regular psychiatrist and continue seeking other treatments. I’m worried that wasting time on an ineffective TMS will delay the time for starting a new treatment that might actually work.
Thanks allOctober 24, 2019 at 8:05 pm #34391
Tms was a waste of money and time. I only continued because the tech said it would work. Ridiculous way to relieve depression.October 24, 2019 at 11:08 pm #34393
They didn’t have a response because they have no idea how it actually works, not does literally anybody, including neurologists, researchers, and psychiatrists. Tms is dangerous, and it’s scary that this powerful machine is in the hands of people who don’t know what they’re doingOctober 25, 2019 at 12:36 am #34394
Here’s my experience … I was debating writing but decided I should. I am a 35 yo male who underwent 30 rounds of bilateral TMS for depression/anxiety. My last session was in August. In the beginning few sessions, I found myself very activated. My anxiety increased quite a bit and my sleep was poor. I had a dip about my second week, and I’m here to say my depression has never been the same. It’s not the same by the fact that it’s “deeper” now, with irrational/suicidal thoughts that I never had before. Waking up and getting out of bed in the morning is a challenge- and I recently had to tell my job I was going part time because of the depression.
I was told during treatment that this was the norm with treatment and was urged to continue. I hate even talking about it because I know something is different, and I’m saddened by what I put myself through. I’ve become more reclusive, and things I (somewhat) used to enjoy like music and being around friends is distant now. Some days/hours I feel “okay” but much of the time is spent in this depressive funk.
I don’t want to scare you or anyone- as I know this treatment has helped many… but I’m truly saddened to be where I’m at. I just keep hoping that as advances in medicine happen , I may be able to find a way to live with this depression. I think one of the hardest aspects is explaining it to other people. They don’t understand , and if they do it’s hard for them to believe it’s from this treatment. Of course there’s no way to prove this, but something is off.
I could write a bunch more on my experience , but as of right now I just wanted to bring is to the surface-…
I wish you nothing but the best – keep us posted …
KyleOctober 25, 2019 at 12:56 pm #34396
Thanks enttnemk for sharing. I’m sorry that all that happened to you. I think our stories share a lot of commonalities. I have consulted with my therapist and primary psychiatrist and after doing a ton of reading, I have decided not to get any more treatments and to continue seeking other means of treatment. Thanks again for sharing, and I’m sorry we got screwed by the treatment.October 25, 2019 at 1:00 pm #34397
No problem man – keep in touch … I would like to see how you feel in the coming months and if you found any other treatment modality …
Email me at email@example.comOctober 27, 2019 at 4:26 pm #34402
TMS messed me up too. Should be illegal. It’s very dangerous, messing with ones brain. If you get worse it just never goes back to the way you were before.October 27, 2019 at 5:42 pm #34403October 27, 2019 at 7:23 pm #34404
I saw that post too, on the medium right? Can I get in on that email? firstname.lastname@example.orgJuly 5, 2020 at 3:15 pm #43400
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