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  • #4992

    sooxie
    Participant

    Tomorrow is treatment #18, and I would say I am definitely feeling some benefit to TMS. As noted before, personal interactions are easier and transitions between actiivities are smoother. I’ve also noticed that I am able to clean more and time alone is natural and not anathema. I’ve actually watched a couple movies and tv shows and enjoyed them. I’m excited to see what will unfold with the next 12 sessions–and being excited in itself is a new sensation!

    #4993

    sooxie
    Participant

    (PS My treatment is 3000 pulses at 120%–and the doctors will not adjust that throughout the TMS course)

    #4994

    sooxie
    Participant

    I keep repeating that I can’t wait to return to ‘normal.’ My husband cautions that the ‘old me’ might be someone I don’t rediscover, but that my new ‘normal’ might be even better. Any thoughts?

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  sooxie.
    #4998

    NeedMoreCowbell
    Participant

    Sooxie, I’ve always found that notion confusing. I remember seeing commercials for ADs, like Celexa and Wellburtrin. They showed people walking on the beach, playing ball with the kids and they’d say something like, “I feel like myself again.” I wondered how I would feel if I got to that point and who the heck that would be? 😉 In a straightforward way, I take it to mean – when I’m feeling okay or even good, what are the things I really like to do. When I feel better, do I engage in them again or do I find new interests. If things are going really well, I might take risks in social situations – like engage with people face to face. I think it’s the little things we notice about ourselves and I wouldn’t spend too much time comparing. Does that make sense?

    #5000

    sooxie
    Participant

    NeedMore–I get you and I think we’re on the same wavelength. I am thinking about things like art, painting walls, and diving into projects. Before this major depressive episode, those were things that punctuated my days. Now, I am lucky to get out the Sharpies once a month, and any project larger than unloading the dishwasher is so overwhelming I can’t fathom it. I wonder if anyone’s had a similar experience, and, post TMS, if they’ve been able to return to their former lives more or less.
    Sooxie, hitting #20 tomorrow

    #5007

    sooxie
    Participant

    Tomorrow is #21. Last week was a lethargic, back-pedaling one–I’m hoping it was the dip so many mention. Ten sessions left, which seems a short time to meet my mental health goals, but I am tring to keep in mind others’ counsel that even after the 30 benefits are gained.

    #5008

    NeedMoreCowbell
    Participant

    Sooxie, were you only approved for 30 treatments – no tapers?

    #5009

    sooxie
    Participant

    Yep–just 30.

    #5012

    sooxie
    Participant

    Just finished #22. I am still struggling when it comes to lethargy, or more specifically, how acts that were once automatic now aren’t (eg emptying the dishwasher, running errands, etc). But I’ve made gains in a lot of other areas–like feelings of guilt & worthlessness are diminishing and I’m laughing.
    Sooxie

    • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  sooxie.
    #5014

    NeedMoreCowbell
    Participant

    Sooxie – so glad you’re making gains! I finished #21 yesterday. I can certainly relate to some of what you’re experiencing. I’m laughing more and it’s easier – I feel lighter sometimes. My concentration is getting better and doesn’t dip like my emotions. Still, outside of the mandatory stuff, like get up, go to work, go to treatment, the motivation to do things like clean, laundry just keeps slipping through my fingers. I’ve decided to stop thinking about it as I believe it’s been responsible for some serious anger and guilt. My treatment doc is concerned that my mood shits are a bit too extreme at this point. Since he really doesn’t know me, I’ll take that with a grain of salt.

    I’m going to buy into the idea that my recovery won’t stop with my last treatment. Lifestyle choices will help get me further down that road. Starting a journal today to track my moods, what triggers anger and see if I can use DBT skills to get it under control.

    Stay positive!

    #5015

    colleencasey
    Participant

    Sooxie and NeedMoreCowbell:

    Just sending support and encouragement as you travel the journey through TMS treatments. I didn’t know what life was like without depression previous to TMS, but I can attest to the fact that for me, my life continues to progress in a positive, life altering manner. It is surreal to me that I can manage, cope and enjoy the diversity of life and life experiences. No doubt it is pretty rough at times, but not due to depression, just due to life’s offerings. The difference is that I do not have the roadblock of depression stopping me from coping, problem-solving and moving forward through those times. The journaling and use of DBT as well as improvements in guilt and controlling life choices are all strengths you are using to move ahead. It is inspiring!
    There is much hope in your posts. I look forward to your future writings.

    #5017

    NeedMoreCowbell
    Participant

    Thank you so much for your support Colleen! Today is a good day 😉

    #5018

    NeedMoreCowbell
    Participant

    Sooxie – I don’t want to over-step boundaries, but have you heard of DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy)? It was originally designed for women with Borderline Personality Disorder, but over the last decade or so the psychiatric community has evolved and it’s used to treat depression, PTSD, anxiety… It is a very structured, group or individual, approach to therapy where you learn skills and then practice them. And it saved my life a few times before the idea of TMS was introduced to me in 2013.

    I’m not sure if it’s okay to post non-TMS links here, but I’d like to suggest you look it up. We could probably both use some practice in “opposite action” to get from the couch to the sink and other stuff we both seem to be avoiding or have no energy for ;-). Others here might also find it helpful. I could go on about how it is not available nearly as much as it should be, but that’s another subject all together.

    Best,
    NeedMoreCowbell

    #5028

    TMS+You
    Keymaster

    Hi NeedMoreCowbell:

    Thank you for your discretion in posting non-TMS links. The main objective for TMS+You is for people to become healthier and happier. As long as your links abide by our general community guidelines, you can always share information that may help another member. Thank you for your posts!

    **Nothing on TMS+You is meant to be taken as professional medical advice nor should it be considered as such. All questions should ultimately be directed to your doctor.

    #5042

    sooxie
    Participant

    Have treatment #26 tomorrow and am hoping this last week will have some effect on my lethargy. The bad news is that it’s still around; the good news is that it’s the last outstanding symptom I’m dealing with. When I started TMS I thought I only had lethargy and anhedonia to deal with, but as it’s become easier and easier to talk and be with others, I realized I had some social anxiety mixed in there. Wish insurance would approve over 30 or at least tapers, but I will work with what I’ve got.

    #5043

    Greg
    Participant

    Sooxie,

    So happy you have responded to TMS. When we first start out it seems as if it will take forever to get through all the treatments.
    Wishing you all the best Sooxie!

    Has your doctor tried to get more treatments for you?
    Sometimes if they call the insurance company and talk to a human, they might give you some more.

    #5050

    sooxie
    Participant

    Thanks for your thoughts, Greg.
    I have not talked to my dr. about extending treatments–but it is worth a try. Thanks for the suggestion.

    #5112

    ylla333
    Participant

    I just had my third treatment. I’ve been told, I’ll get used to the slight discomfort….more like a jackhammer than what I’ve been reading as a woodpecker…my woodpecker has what I’d describe as a metal beek.
    I don’t consider myself as a wimp, but I cry thru the first 15 minutes.
    Told the tech I better start feeling improvement soon or I’ll be stopping…think I’d rather go thru labor pain again.

    #5118

    Dave_Wigfield
    Participant

    ylla333, any update on how your treatments went? Hopefully the “metal beak” feeling was downgraded to something much more manageable.

    #5188

    tuwineza
    Participant

    Hi everyone- I was wondering if anyone could answer the questions I put in a post I put up on here today. I will be starting TMS in TWO DAYS and would really appreciate any feedback:

    I will be starting my TMS treatments in TWO DAYS, and I am wondering if there are any medications or substances that I must absolutely avoid, are prohibited to use during TMS, or will render my TMS treatments obsolete.

    I ask this question because I have tried a lot of medications in the past and am still on medications that are not providing any benefits to my mental stability.

    I also have a long history of recreational/prescribed substance abuse and alcohol dependency that I am still currently battling with. During my TMS treatments, if I am to relapse back to these addictions to any degree, will I ruin my TMS progress or render the TMS useless?

    I would appreciate any feedback or information that anyone may have about medication/substance use during TMS because I am at the point of letting go of my past, maladaptive behaviors in order to move on towards the hope of a better quality of life, but I need to know what I can do to prevent my tendency to subconsciously sabotage my own progress. I hope this makes sense and will invite anyone to provide helpful feedback. Thank you.

    #5189

    colleencasey
    Participant

    Tuwineza: I am NOT a doctor, I am a patient. I can offer informal information. First of all though, the issues you raise should definitely be discussed with your doctor. TMS still has various unknowns in terms of individual responses to treatment regarding depression and any off label use. Medication issues definitely should be discussed with your doctor. Also, your issues with relapse with addictions and TMS is another issue to be discussed with your medical provider and support team. TMS is a new treatment that has much potential, but is still only approved for MDD. With that said, there are studies being done that show positive results (NOT ABSOLUTE) in off label uses such as pain management, addiction, etc. I have spoken to my doctor and he has seen positive effects with some of his patients in these areas while treating patients for MDD. But again, he always refers to the scientific research that is published on a continuum. Your TMS medical team should be communicated with every step of the way throughout your treatment and with each issue that arises because of individual differences.
    I had TMS five years ago this January and have had a different life since. I had MDD for 60 years previous, was on countless meds and combos, was suicidal, in hospitals, etc., etc. We all have a story. Now I am in remission, off all meds and am living a much improved quality of life. I have been advocating for TMS Public Education and just this month presented at the NYS NAMI Conference on the topic of TMS as a treatment option. What a change from being lethargic, depressed and unable to live a quality life.
    I am sending support and encouragement for you to: !. Stay very connected to your medical treatment team, 2. Know that this may be an up and down path during treatment, but that does not predict the outcome. Some people, myself included, did not see positive results till after treatment ended and experienced a variety of mood swings during treatment, 3. Stay connected with your support systems and this site. TMS outcomes are apparent at different stages for everyone. Their are no predictors. Just travel the path one day at a time. And don’t give up unless it is suggested by your doctor. It can sometimes be tempting, but stay true to your goal of improved health.
    Good luck. If you are up to it, post how you are doing!

    #5193

    colleencasey
    Participant
    #5197

    mousehousevacs
    Participant

    I just found this site and information on TMS out of depseration of helping my 27 year old son. He’s having suicidal thoughts and my heart is breaking. This year has been the worse. I’m afraid his Medicaid will not cover this treatment, and we do not have the resources or credit to privately fund this treament. I”m afraid to tell him about it only to get his hopes up and then have them dashed.

    Colleencasey – I appreciated your post from 12/1/15, particularly how the last 5 years have been. I wish this forum was much more visited and used by those particularly whom have had and not have the success you have in order to better know the possiblities. I will continue following this site and pray that we can get my son into this therapy program.

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