June 27, 2019 at 8:02 pm #34258
I recognize each individual is different and TMS works for some and unfortunately not for others. Tomorrow (June 28) will be my 6th treatment and the only thing that is keeping me optimistic is the TMS tech and reading stories of success. Still feeling quite pessimistic and overall just tired and groggy. Its hard to enjoy things, and work just tires me out where I just crash at the end of time. I think its the depression talking – its like it shades everything in this cloud of doubt and lies. Its hard to believe that sitting in a chair and having this machine send tapping pulses into my brain is really doing much. Each time it goes I just think – please help “refresh” my brain. Anyways, I’m trying to have hope and “push through” the doubt in my head that says I’m wasting time. My insurance has approved 36 treatments, and I plan to make all sessions.
If anyone can relate to these treatment anxieties please let me know and I will try to keep updated week by week on the treatment.
KyleJune 30, 2019 at 4:23 pm #34260
Hi @ Entenmk, TMS was my last hope! I was so depressed, suicidal, & unfunctional…crying sometimes 6 hours a day. I was so unsure it was going to work because I was up, then down, even at 36 I was a mess. My psychiatrist added and additional 10 treatments & it worked wonderfully. I’m even thinking about returning again to see if I can quit Valium. Hang in there, when it works it’s a miracle!June 30, 2019 at 7:51 pm #34261
Thanks for the kind words @ junebeatle. Yesterday was interesting as I actually had some darker, more depressing thoughts and feelings. Today though I feel better, and have more energy- actually more interested in doing things, which is a plus !!
The only negative I’ve noticed tho is it seems my anxiety is higher- kind of a tightness in my chest. I’m getting bilateral treatments done so I pray that this goes away or I can find I way to help it. I will talk to tech tomorrow .
Overall tho, mood seems a bit better.
ThanksJuly 4, 2019 at 12:59 am #34266
Just had treatment #9 today. Again, more energy, but for sure more activation. The tech said that typically she has people sleeping better and not worse- however I can say this is not true for me. Discouraging for sure as I don’t like feeling activated.
They are also doing bilateral treatment – did anyone else has this experience and did it go away ??
KyleJuly 4, 2019 at 1:16 pm #34267
@entenmk, Yes, I did experience that. My week 2 was so bad some days I was only sleeping from 1am-4am & I also have a movement disorder that is activated by stress, so my movements were returning that were under control with Valium. Week 3 was so bad I told the psychiatrist I was going to give up because I was losing my battle to depression it was so much more severe, that’s when they changed some parameters & started more left sided treatment.
I had some good days in there, but it was one tough journey! There was one day around week 4 I thought I was going crazy, like literally almost went to the hospital, my legs felt like there was an electrical surge going through them all day & I was on the brink of insanity. I even called my mom & started screaming at her for no reason telling her I was getting worse. My journey was up & down, it wasn’t until they added the additional 10 treatments after 36 the tears started drying up & I felt better days. Now I’m so grateful I did it & think to myself if this treatment didn’t exist I wouldn’t be here! Everyone’s journey to mental wellness is different, but I honestly had one hell of a trip to get there. Hang in there, I hope it works out for you. Are you expressing what you are experiencing with them? When I was sleeping worse (lack of sleep was one of the things that led me to severe depression) I told them about it. I also had severe, severe memory impairment. Last night I played Sudoku for neural plasticity, so it definitely works.July 4, 2019 at 3:00 pm #34268
Thank you for your response. I go in for #10 tomm and then I’m off for a week for vacation. I’ve mentioned the concerns to my doc which he said to take melatonin. I’ve tried it but it doesn’t seem to do much.
I’m interested to see if this anxiety calms a little during the week break. If it does then I know it’s the treatment and the docs gonna have to do something to help with sleep.
I’ve been thorough with the tech who is very supportive but says she doesn’t have too many who experience these symptoms so that’s a little scary. Anyways – I will keep ya updated. Thanks for your response and guidance !July 4, 2019 at 4:09 pm #34269
@entenmk, I’m a registered dietitian and would lean more towards Lavender oil capsules for sleep if it’s anxiety related (you can look up research as they are comparable to benzodiazepines) or possibly Saffron capsules (Life Extension makes a good one which helps both anxiety & depression) Melatonin is usually too high a dosage above physiological levels made in the body & honestly contraindicated in depression because it can make it worse. You could try them for relief. Tart cherry juice 8oz an hour before bed can also help.
Have a nice vacation! Try to stay engaged as much as you can on vacation to relax yourself.July 10, 2019 at 5:06 pm #34270
Thanks for the support junebeatle. Vacation has been going okay- though today has been particularly rough as I’m feeling low emotionally. Like these lows come in waves, some days are better than others, but I can definitely say I never experienced these ups and downs till Tms.
My anxiety is better and I don’t feel like I’m out edge all the time. I can understand some anxiousness, but I was pretty ranked up. This is kind of scary though as I start back on Monday, and if I get that all day, into the night edgy/anxious feeling like I have been I will be really hesitant to continue treatment as I’ve read some stories on here where that anxiety doesn’t get better and people regret not discontinuing sooner.
Trying not to let the anxiety/depression get in the way of treatment but it certainly is bothering me.
ThAnk you and stay well. 🤗July 10, 2019 at 10:51 pm #34271
@entenmk, You’re right I’ve read those stories & was so scared to do it myself because severe anxiety is what got me into that depressive state. Everyone is different, but overall most people on here seem to respond well. Keep us posted, it’s your treatment journey. I’m sure someone else will respond on here too. If this doesn’t work out remember they’re are lots of other options, Ketamine, Psylocibin soon, etc. I also take Saffron post-treatments as I needed all the help I could get & it seems to help too.July 10, 2019 at 11:11 pm #34272
Thanks junebug… you said up above that when you mentioned that to the treating team they started to do more “left sided” treatments ? Did you possibly mean more right sided as that’s where I feel would be more beneficial for anxiety.
I will talk with them on Monday and vent my concerns- if they can’t change up, or are unwilling to change protocol if the angst doesn’t go down then that’s gonna be a red flag for me… I’ll keep ya posted tho !
KyleJuly 10, 2019 at 11:28 pm #34273
@entenmk, When I did my first 25 treatments we were mainly doing all right-sided treatment (I think left was 5min) because my situation was where my anxiety I’ve had well managed for 20 years went to insanity with extreme agitation, so they were afraid of stimulating me in the least bit. What they didn’t say was unbalanced treatments can lead to more irritability & anger (which was what I was experiencing) I’m not an angry person, so it was unusual & I also was so fatigued, way, way more depressed. The treating psychiatrist said maybe your wired a little differently and started left balanced bi-lateral and that’s when things started to get better.
You are correct for anxiety it is slow pulse right sided. They should be doing bi-lateral anyways, most people need both so they don’t become too activated or too irritable. I did have mornings with panic waking up & thought that’s weird my Valium isn’t working…in the end it calmed down and 46 was my magic number. I didn’t think it worked at all until 36 on…I also cut daily Valium in half from 15mg at the start to 7.5mg today, Hoping to stop that eventually, but they want me off 100% before doing another round…that’s tough.July 15, 2019 at 5:27 pm #34280
The last week on vacation was interesting. I definitely get what they say when its a rollercoaster! I had days with hours where I felt really down, then I felt okay, and then I felt pretty good! This happened on random days throughout the trip. It was weird, scary, and frustrating all at the same time.
The biggest concern though is the anxiety – its like a full body anxiety, and while it did go down, its only 50% better and causing problems with sleep. I don’t want to overstimulate myself. I told the treating team, and they are only doing right sided treatments this week. I hate doing that because I want to make sure I treat the depression – but I don’t want to cause any more activation -its very uncomfortable! I hope this week I can take care of self and try the left side again next week.
I don’t know what else to do besides that – I just keep on hoping and praying that I will get some relief.
KyleJuly 15, 2019 at 6:43 pm #34281
@entenmk, Good news is the right side also treats depression! The magnetic pulses reach more than just the side they are treating, in fact bi-polar depression is only treated on the right side due to mania possibility on the left. I’m so sorry you’re experiencing increased anxiety, that’s an awful feeling too! Have they not been doing bi-lateral the whole time?
Keep the faith, I hope in the end it works out. Remember some people get better post-treatment as well. And if this isn’t it, have you tried Ketamine? I’m sure you’ve already tried the medication merry-go-round.July 15, 2019 at 7:43 pm #34283
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.