Tagged: 

Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 52 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #5398

    WarriorWon
    Participant

    I’ve had 13 treatments so far, which I know is still early. I’m going through my 3rd major depression episode, and each time I’ve had awful insomnia and I’m constantly waking. I’m sure my body is stuck in a fight or flight mode and that’s what’s causing sleep disturbances. I normally sleep well so I feel Horrible and it’s making everything extremely difficult. I am unable to take any medicines due to sensitivities. They just make me feel worse/terrible side effects on top of how I already feel. I haven’t seen much posted about insomnia from depression (not from medications) so I was wondering if anyone has had insomnia relieved/cured from TMS treatments? I’m feeling very discouraged and like this will never end and I’ll never get back to myself-fear and doubt, although I did two previous times have it resolve without TMS treatment. Also struggling as I don’t have a wide circle of support, have had a lot of negativity regarding my situation (to which the TMS techs even said I need to distance myself from people being that way to me) and I feel alone. I have a few people I can talk to about this, but not anyone daily and not a person physically there for me. When I’m sleeping and well and not depressed, this wouldn’t bother me. My only saving grace with this is I’ve been told I’m “highly functional” but don’t at all feel that way. I have noticed little things since treatment started but I “feel” detached from them. It’s like I’m aware they are happening but I don’t emotionally feel them at all. I feel like I cannot stop the negative thinking and know it would be better for me to have a more positive attitude but it’s just not in me at the moment. And every night I continue to have horribly disturbed sleep, I become more distraught and exhausted. I will see this through especially since my insurance isn’t paying, I am. But I’m frustrated and scared.

    #5400

    Keep_Hoping
    Participant

    I know how you feel! You said “I’m feeling very discouraged and like this will never end and I’ll never get back to myself.” This is exactly where I’m at. I think this all the time. No meds have worked for me and I’ve tried over 20.

    I tend to sleep more when I’m really depressed. But I go through periods of bad anxiety and then I have trouble sleeping too. I feel like my sleep has been worse since I started the TMS. I just finished my 6 weeks and start the tapering Monday. I’m hoping my sleep will get better once I finish.

    I, too, struggle with the negative thinking. If you look under the topic “Treatment number 14 today;needing encouragement” there’s a post written from Buddy on 5/7/16 that you might find very helpful.

    Inbox
    x

    #5401

    WarriorWon
    Participant

    Thank you for your response and I’m so sorry for your struggles! I know how very difficult this is going through this. Hope you don’t mind, but I’ll say a prayer for you that things improve, for you and everyone suffering. I’ve been reading posts a lot before deciding to join, so I’ve seen that but thank you for the reminder. Yes, when I started I felt my anxiety ramped up horribly as some depression symptoms began to very minimally improve, and my already bad insomnia got worse with exception of the second day of treatment which was odd and I felt crushed when it went backward and didn’t continue in a good direction. Because of this, they began bilateral treatment for me fairly early which I’m hoping helps. I have recurrent depression but I’m sure I’ve had anxiey all my life. I’m very curious to hear from you and others regarding how you are after treatments and tapering. I’ve seen some previous posts where people were part way through but never posted their outcome….and would love to hear more success and positive stories. I feel like a failure disappointment, Ike there’s no end…but I have to keep reminding myself that’s this disease depression talking and not who I truly am. Just need to find my way back to that person and at a loss how to at the moment. One of my friends texted me tonight, she said you are NOT a failure. Feeling this way is not your choice, you didn’t elect it nor do you deserve it. Nice to hear even if it doesn’t feel that way at the moment.

    #5405

    Keep_Hoping
    Participant

    No, you most definitely are not a failure. But I know the feeling and the struggle to think positive and stay hopeful when the depression is hanging so heavy over our heads. Thank you for the prayers. I pray for others too.

    I would like to hear more stories too about how things work out for people after finishing treatment. It might be up to us to share our success stories for those who start treatment after us. I was disappointed to learn that results may not start to be seen until after treatment is over.

    Hang in there!

    #5407

    WarriorWon
    Participant

    Thanks! Been incredibly difficult. Is it possible to have multiple dips? I feel as I have. Yesterday was awful. Today is half way mark for me.

    #5408

    Keep_Hoping
    Participant

    I am so happy that you’ve stuck with it and are half way done! The first day I went I swore I’d never go back. Look how far we’ve come. We have to keep going. We have to believe what others are telling us – we are brave, strong and sure as heck determined!

    Yes, I think the dips and lifts come and go randomly. My depression felt worse after I started. I had no relief or lifts during the 6 weeks that I just finished. I did my first day of tapering Monday. So only 3 dreadfully painful sessions this week. After having the weekend off Mondays always hurt more.

    But last Sunday I think I had what they’re describing as a lift because the worry, heaviness, unmotivation etc were gone for the entire day. Even into the evening and night I felt lighter, like a weight had been lifted off me and the black cloud over my head was gone. I thought my prayers were finally answered. I couldn’t get to sleep because I was planning all the things I was going to do even before my tms session in the afternoon.

    Then Monday morning reared it’s ugly head and I’m back to feeling depressed. SO disappointing. My tms coordinator said this is a good sign. Soon I could have a couple of good days in a row and it will last longer from there. But now that I’m back to feeling down it’s hard to believe things will ever change. Now I guess I go back to waiting, and that’s just so painful. Easy for people who aren’t depressed or never have been to give advice.

    Prayers for the healing to begin NOW, not later.

    #5409

    WarriorWon
    Participant

    Im glad you are sticking with this too! I’m so sorry that your lift didn’t last! I get how devistating that is! I’m sure it is a good sign that you felt that way, but yes hard to deal with it going backward when all you want is to feel relief, which is where I am at the moment. Sounds like we had similar Sunday into Monday. Yes, we have to be strong, stick it out, and hope that the answer and relief will be around the corner. Just hold onto the thought that if that happened, it can happen again. I’ve noticed shifts for the better but as I said don’t feel them which seems odd to me, but they said they’ve had patients have same experience. It’s like I’m witnessing changes from the outside. I noticed was able to do more with less dread, smile/laugh, listen to music again. But don’t feel the emotions or joy of it. So I still feel awful and sleep awful. The first week of treatment I had one night of better sleep then has been worse since. Interesting you said depression felt worse after starting as my anxiety felt immediately worse after first session. I thankfully haven’t had pain from sessions from the start so I really give you lots of credit for continuing for yourself! I truly hope it’s working for you and you start to have those better days!

    #5415

    colleencasey
    Participant

    Good Morning Keep_Hoping and WarriorMan:
    I am struck by the names you have both chosen – how significant in your journey in dealing with depression. I am sitting here on the outside of this conversation in awe of the strength, support, insight and hope you are both freely offering to each other. It has made me teary thinking about how the struggle with depression has brought this kindness, sharing and caring out of each of in you in support of each other. What an example you set for us all. Warrior-Man, I think the isolation of depression can be a roadblock to more positive experiences – I know it feels like reaching out just isn’t in you right now, you reached out here! And look at the bond in the struggle with depression and TMS Treatments its forging. If this forum provides that opportunity, then bravo to you for using it! That is a milestone in the world of dealing with this challenge. Keep_Hoping, keep hoping! Someone in this forum described their experience with a positive outcome with TMS like it came in waves. Wow what an accurate analogue. That is what happened to me – up and down till the ups surpassed the downs. You two show STRENGTH through this journey. You are hope. You have touched my heart and soul this morning when I am struggling with a painful issue. Please keep communicating this way – it is good to do such good in the middle of such a challenge – sending both of you gratitude. Thank you.

    #5416

    Keep_Hoping
    Participant

    Colleen – It’s very easy to relate to someone when I feel like I’m reading their comments as my very own thoughts and feelings. I didn’t think of commenting on the message boards as reaching out. But you are right, it is. Thanks for pointing that out.

    Warrior – I’ve read and been told that others may notice we’re improving before we do. Not fair! There’s so much to learn about this tms. I wish it worked in a more measurable way. I have trouble getting to sleep at night and then feel so tired in the morning. I can sleep for 10 hours before waking on my own and finally getting out of bed. It seems the Zanex helped me fall asleep much faster before the tms. I want to stop taking it completely to be off all meds. It’s hard waking up in the morning to get my kids off to school. I always end up going back to sleep after they leave. If I don’t then I end up dragging through the day even more than usual.

    Maybe once the tapering stops my sleep will get better.

    #5417

    WarriorWon
    Participant

    Colleen, I am sorry you are dealing with something difficult! Wish you the strength to get through it! And thank you for pointing that out. I can relate to a lot of what you are going through Keep_Hoping although much of my experience is opposite (insomnia, no pain with treatment etc). It’s because we both feel the same way regardless. I’m exhausted from insomnia and feel that same exhaustion. It takes everything in me to get tasks completed. And I’ve had a particularly difficult time since my (I think) dip Monday. The strangest thing is I do notice changes but don’t at all feel them, which is crushing. Makes me feel like I won’t feel better or sleep. I guess I just have to keep moving forward and hope something begins to shift. And hope for both of us that we get sleep relief! Ask your family if/what they notice that’s improved.

    Well, today was the start of my 4th week. Im hoping that I experience a lift like many others have reported during this week. But yes everyone’s experience is so very different and unique from what I’ve read in both their treatment (3000 to 5000 pulses-my dr won’t do more than the FDA testing for left side) and their responses to therapy…ups and downs, slow and steady, sudden after weeks, nothing until it ends…the unknown is extremely difficult to stomach when all you want is to be better. So all we can do is keep hoping each new day brings some improvement.

    #5418

    Keep_Hoping
    Participant

    Here’s hoping this is the week you see and feel some changes. I have such a hard time getting the smallest things done too. I have no energy or motivation and feel overwhelmed by everything. Today was really bad for me as far as my mood. I’m really down and back to crying. I feel like changing my screen name to Still Waiting or When Will This Ever End.

    Tomorrow is my last tms for the first week of tapering. Next week I only have 2 treatments. I’ve been talking to a counselor weekly since I started tms. I think it’s helping me to see things in a different, better way. I think a lot of depression, at least for me, is the negative thinking. I need to stop it before it brings me down too far. I wasn’t too successful with practicing that today.

    Someone said something about having a back up plan if the tms doesn’t work. Well, tms was my back up plan. Meds don’t work for me and I’m on counseling, again, so I don’t know what’s left.

    #5419

    WarriorWon
    Participant

    Oh I’m so sorry and please don’t change your screen name! I’ve had many days like that and feel overwhelmed by everything too. I hope you start to have better days and the therapy kicks in. If you did have a day where you felt a lift, it could be working but slowly. Maybe you’ll notice more of that over the next couple weeks. I hope that’s the case. I think when In this state it’s difficult to stop negative thinking as part of it is you feel that way from an under active part if your brain. I know how difficult doing anything and motivation is when feeling this way, but maybe meditation or exercise or deep breathing? Cognitive behavioral therapy? Hypnosis? Getting rid of things causing you stress-toxic relationships? keep fighting, keep hoping! The answer just may not have crossed your path yet, or is just going slower than hoped. And I don’t say any of this lightly. I feel the same pain and exhaustion. I’ve cried more days than not and haven’t felt relief yet. But have to keep fighting. You are an inspiration seeing this through and continuing to fight!

    #5420

    WarriorWon
    Participant

    I know this is good news but still don’t feel it. My scores went from severe to moderate on both depression and anxiety. I cried when they told me, not of joy but because I don’t feel the changes I’m noticing and I’m still not sleeping. I have 13 days left then tapering. I want to believe that somehow it will all connect but hard to when detached from feeling the improvements that I am noticing myself. And feel increasingly anxious the longer I’m not sleeping. Other times it’s gone into remission when I finally slept again. And it’s incredibly difficult to function.

    #5421

    Keep_Hoping
    Participant

    I’m so sorry to hear that. They are telling me the same thing about my scores rising but I’m not feeling any better either. After all this time we’ve put in it’s heart breaking to still feel so bad. Next week I taper down to 2 days for the week. They’re still telling me I could feel the effects weeks or months after tapering is done.

    I was talking to a friend and she was reminding me that the delayed effect may eventually kick in. I’m getting sick of hearing that. It only makes me feel more depressed. People don’t understand how hard it is to suffer for so long, day after day, and then still have to wait, wait, wait. I’m afraid it won’t work on me at all.

    It’s good news that you’re noticing changes, even if they seem distant. That’s more than I’m feeling. You’ve still got 2 weeks to go and then taper, so there’s still time for change. Does your dr give you anything to help you sleep? Maybe taking something temporarily would help. It’s extremely hard to function on little sleep and feel anxious on top of it. But you still keep going! That’s great. Make sure you give yourself credit for that. Make a mental note of all the things you DID do each day. After I look back on the day, many times I realize I actually did do more than I realized. You will too.

    #5422

    colleencasey
    Participant

    WarriorWon and Keep_Hoping – What you are experiencing I guarantee is very predictable and I hesitate to use the word but for lack of a better one, NORMAL, ROUTINE, EXPECTED. First I hope this helps. Oh my goodness you bring back memories of the session I almost told my therapist to S________ it because he was looking at my improving scores and listening to the TMS Coordinator say I was improving, but I didn’t feel it. Oh I was angry, ticked off, even felt betrayed. All of this you are experiencing is the flow of energy which is positive. I am not trying to predict the outcome of your treatments, but the path you speak about has been traveled by thousands before you, which reflects hope, even though you don’t feel it. Not sure where you heard you would improve immediately, but just think for a moment. Your brains are waking up. They aren’t quite in sync yet. It takes time for your brain to activate and respond, neural connections are growing. It does takes time. You are battling the pains of the brain disorder (or brain disease or whatever verbiage is comfortable), which is unbearable. The degree of your depression and pain has to be matched with the degree of the treatment energy flow to the brain, time of growth, etc. If it takes 5 years to gain 100 lbs, and one starts a diet, it is not going to be an immediate fix to loose it. I am not going to say, be patient, because I wasn’t. But what might help is to understand the mechanics of the process in the brain so your expectations can be aligned with what is going on in the brain. Then you will not experience the degree of disappointment that comes with false expectations. Sending lots of good vibes and support your way! Thank you both for your kind words of support. It is much appreciated and helpful.

    #5423

    WarriorWon
    Participant

    Thank you Colleen for your kind words and advice. It’s just so weird to not feel any change or better and honestly the lack of sleep getting the better of me! The only reason I thought would be quicker For me is my other two episodes ended abruptly in two days. Kind of my pattern and I’m doing things I did then plus TMS. So I thought/hoped would work faster. It is helpful to know you traveled the same path and that it is a possibility for us even if we don’t feel that at the moment.

    Keep_Hoping yes it IS heartbreaking feeling this way. And I too feel like it won’t end and that scares me horribly! My dr was only at my first session. I’ve not seen him since but see him next week. I’ve called about 3 times and was hoping to try taking something even knowing I’m drug resistant as I’m desperate to feel better. Hoped he’d prescribe over phone but didn’t. I don’t know how common that is, but I’m with techs not dr at all my appointments with exception of the first one. I’m glad your scores improving too and so sorry you aren’t feeling the improvements yet! I’ll kept posting and we can try to keep supporting each other! I really hope your friend is right. From my friend tonight…her words to me…stop beating yourself up and blaming yourself. As soon as you do that you can start to heal, made me cry because that’s all I’m doing “if this, if that” if it were only that easy to do and change… I would be better already. I won’t stop fighting but it’s getting very challenging! I just need to sleep!

    #5424

    WarriorWon
    Participant

    Had horrible Friday into Saturday. Barely any sleep. Woke with panic attack, laid in bed too long, and never left house. Today although difficult has been better. Despite still not sleeping I got up, got out, exercised, walked 5 miles with a friend who is trying to help distract me. Went for super long lunch. But dread when gets later because I go through the same cycle of horrible sleep. And still can barely concentrate on anything that I’d normally do or like. At least I’m still trying!

    #5425

    Keep_Hoping
    Participant

    Warrior, I’ve had many days like that. You are not alone on that one. They are rough and it stinks. I’m glad to hear you got out and even exercised. That’s A LOT! You’re motivating me now. Make sure you think about all those good things you accomplished when the dread starts to set in later. I get that same feeling too. It’s hard to start to feel better knowing that this vicious cycle will start again the next morning.

    I have been having little moments of relief, or so it seems, the last 2 days. Like fleeting moments of feeling better. Then I go back to feeling overwhelmed about all my responsibilities and feeling like I’m not getting any where in life.

    Let’s give ourselves some credit for these positives we’ve experienced. Maybe this is what people mean when they say the results come in many different ways. I felt better after hearing from Colleen that she too experienced the frustration that we’re feeling when she went through her tms. I was getting sick of hearing the generic answers about waiting until tms is done, etc. I feel her input was the first real thing I could relate to. That made me want to Keep_Hoping!!

    #5426

    WarriorWon
    Participant

    Keep_Hoping, thanks! I’m glad you’re starting to have moments of feeling better! That’s a good sign but understand the pain when it goes away. I’ll try to remind myself all I did no matter how I sleep. And I know I should be more patient as I have 13 more treatments to go. I’m just past the half way mark. Just hope my efforts start helping things shift for the better as it’s hard enough doing things when feeling like this and not sleeping well. Good luck and I hope you keep improving as the week goes on!

    #5427

    colleencasey
    Participant

    Keep_Hoping and WarriorWon:
    You two are amazing. The honesty and raw truth that you reveal in your posts are so very basic and needed for a strong foundation for brain health – (my preference over the term mental health – too much stigma). But so often it is forgone because of fear, shame and all those other feelings that erupt because of external pressure. Depression when revealed for what it is and how it robs a person of the life they would choose, is one of the most difficult challenges we can face for many reasons. With that said, even though the process takes time, you have every right to be frustrated, impatient, aggravated and angry. Anyone in pain feels this way no matter what kind of pain it is. The problem with depression, is that it is an invisible suffering that has no verbal cues to alert others of what is happening and what might be needed. Keep_Hoping, the road I traveled was anything but pretty – It was very difficult and I was miserable, hurting, scared, exhausted, etc. I can relate to a lot of the feelings and experiences that you both are posting. Somehow, I find that people with depression dig so deep to keep going, keep hoping, keep trying and exploring options. It really is incredible the drive depressed people have when lethargy, lack of sleep, anxiety, pain, sadness, etc., loom constantly.
    Respect is owed to you for the path you both are individually traveling. It is amazing what the two of you are enduring for your health. My thoughts are with you each day.

    #5428

    WarriorWon
    Participant

    Feel defeated over and over. Sleep was worse after all I did.

    #5429

    Keep_Hoping
    Participant

    What a let down. I also had trouble getting to sleep last night even though I was tired all day. I was awake until 1:00 AM. Then I have to get up at 7:00 AM to get my kids ready for school. This is another one of the unknowns I deal with daily. I never know if I’ll be able to get to sleep right away or will I lay awake for 2-3 hours.

    Many times, like you Warrior, I have felt that after an active day I would surely get a good nights sleep. Other days I’ve spent the day on the couch, napping, and then I fall asleep easily. I don’t get it. This sleep disruption has started after I began the tms treatments.

    Colleen – thank you again for your encouragement. When I read your comments to us about the strength that’s needed to deal with all of this, the respect we deserve and considering us amazing is truly a breath of fresh air. Warrior I hope these words are helping you somehow too.

    Only 2 tapers this week. Let’s see if I can make it through without crying before, during or after. I always feel worse after each session.

    #5432

    colleencasey
    Participant

    Good Morning WarriorWon and Keep_Hoping:
    Life is more challenging than we certainly predict it might be, isn’t it? Sometimes I have to take a deep breath, well a lot of deep breaths, and tell myself I can handle an issue I am confronted with, even when I don’t think I can. It can be so difficult at times. I know I will never try suicide again, even though occasionally I have those thoughts. I know that when I die it will be because of the heartache I experience daily because of a family situation. If my mind is not preoccupied, I am thinking of the sorrow and sadness and feeling the pain of that situation. What I try to do is look for meaning in the journey of pain so I can keep going and growing. Sometimes I try to distract myself with meaningful activities so I can nourish myself in an effort to build strength. And I say this with the knowledge that I am not depressed and don’t face those trials at this moment. I think though, life is challenges and lessons with rays of sunshine in between.
    I wish there was some way to relieve your challenges and the heartache and disappointment as well as the confusion in regard to the “whys” (why depression, why me, why rejection, why can’t I sleep, etc.) you experience. Unfortunately we do not have the power to do that for each other. But I do want to say this, if not this challenge, there would be another. Life is always teaching us through challenges (I think we could all use a few less sometimes!). I know what it takes for you to get up each day; its hard, damn hard. Know that to put one foot in front of the other is a major victory. Know that you are cared about and that your journey is respected and appreciated. And know that there is an endless supply of hope in this world – even though it does not feel it. It is inside of each of you, it is so deep that when you call upon it, it will be there. You exemplify that each day. Remember that the continuous and concentrated brain research that is going on all over the world will bring some additional answers soon. Maybe watch a funny movie today to distract you even for a moment. Sending caring thoughts.

    #5435

    WarriorWon
    Participant

    Thank you both Colleen and Keep_Hoping for your kind words. I’m struggling but I’ll keep trying. Watching or doing anything would take concentration and interest I don’t have at this time. Had to force self to do all that Sunday. Wish I could laugh and enjoy anything right now.

    #5436

    WarriorWon
    Participant

    Oh today was day 20. Ten more to go

    #5437

    Keep_Hoping
    Participant

    I have a really hard time concentrating and getting interested in anything too. It is so hard to do and makes life so boring. The days drag on and this increases my anxiety because I feel guilty for not doing anything. The simple solution (for those who aren’t depressed) would be to just go do something!

    Colleen is right. A distraction does help, yet it’s still hard to really get into anything. I forced myself to do some basic things like laundry or pay bills on line. Anything so I don’t have to put all the effort in to leaving the house.

    I did go to a yoga class this morning with a fake smile forced on my face.

    Warrior, you’ve made it so far. You’re past the half way point. Like I’ve said before – if we hadn’t tried this we wouldn’t be so far a long in the treatment. We don’t have to wonder if it would have worked or not. We’re well on our way to finding out. I’m still praying we will see results, get relief and will be able to help others like Colleen does for us.

    #5441

    WarriorWon
    Participant

    I hope that for both of us too!

    #5445

    colleencasey
    Participant

    Good Morning Keep_Hoping and WarriorWon:
    Got up this morning and was thinking of both of you. How are you doing? I just wanted to let you know that your journeys are powerful and have an incredible impact. Sending good thoughts!

    #5446

    Keep_Hoping
    Participant

    Thank you Colleen,

    I’m not feeling any better, just more let down. I did my 6 weeks of tms and 2 weeks of tapering. That’s 8 weeks and still no results. I’m supposed to do my last single treatment next week to finish the tapering but see no point in wasting my time.

    #5448

    colleencasey
    Participant

    Keep_Hoping:
    It sounds discouraging to be in your position. I will tell you that my doctor has had patients that TMS appeared not to work for initially. There was a delayed reaction. It took a couple of months after treatment to reveal the positive outcome. It might be good to have that last treatment. I hope you will continue to let us know how you are doing. You are a strong and smart person Keep_Hoping. It is obvious from your posts. I know it is difficult and challenging to maintain a positive outlook at this point. Sending thoughts of hope.

    #5451

    colleencasey
    Participant

    How is it going WarriorWon and Keep_Hoping? Thinking of you each day.

    #5472

    Keep_Hoping
    Participant

    I’ m done tapering and still feel majorly depressed. Not feeling any better than when I started is adding to my depression. This stinks.

    #5473

    colleencasey
    Participant

    Keep_Hoping:
    My heart is with you. Has your doctor given her/his input on the outcome of your TMS Treatments? Have you been told you may need more time for a delayed response?
    I have included two websites: One is motivational and one is in regard to a different treatment for future reference after your outcome to TMS is determined.
    Keep_Hoping, continue searching for minor and major changes that make sense to you that you can add to your regime of self care. There are support groups that offer information, friendship, inspiration and strength. Keep searching for the answer to your depression. It may be many small changes or a major change. We are here for you. Please stay connected.
    Sending support for your journey.
    Colleen
    https://www.good.is/articles/oprah-on-failure.
    http://www.webmd.com/depression/vagus-nerve-stimulation

    #5483

    Keep_Hoping
    Participant

    My dr tells me the same thing you and everyone else says – wait,wait,wait to see results. I’ve exhausted this ‘search’ for a cure. I’ve tried meds, vitamins, yoga, acupuncture, counseling, exercise, message, support groups, hypnosis. I’ve read a million books and articles about overcoming depression. Eventually it’s just the same advice over and over. The article about implanting something in my brain to stimulate it sounds just like tms. There’s no time frame of when it would start working – up to 9 months later – and there are still adjustments after the surgery is done. I’ve already read about that and it sounds just as risky/unreliable as the tms was.

    Face it, some people just don’t recover. Looks like I’m one of them.

    #5486

    Mass
    Participant

    Hi! I just had my 25th treatment and found that I have been experiencing sleep issues also. It’s more difficult to fall asleep and I’ve been waking up before my alarm. I’m hoping that changes. I haven’t really noticed a difference in my depression however other people have stated that they have, which I find strange. I’m am very nervous that it will not work. My anxiety and fidgeting have increased a bit, so the Dr. switch treatment to the right side instead of the left, in hopes of “evening” things out. I’ve been told about the delayed reaction also. I’m trying to stay positive. I’m so glad I found this site!

    #5487

    Keep_Hoping
    Participant

    I was having trouble getting to sleep, staying asleep and waking earlier too. Now that I’m done with tms my sleep is back to normal. I have less anxiety too. I’m still very depressed and I’m sleeping more because of it. I finished treatments and tapering in mid May and am still waiting for results. I too am worried all of this has done nothing for me. It’s hard to stay positive when there’s no change day after day, week after week.

    Good luck to you.

    #5489

    colleencasey
    Participant

    Mass: It is strange and common that others will notice changes in you before you do. Go figure – we are the last to know! I don’t understand it but that is the way it is.
    Sleeping is a problem for so many. I connected with a person this morning who is struggling so very much. I found this article:
    http://www.helpguide.org/articles/sleep/sleep-disorders-and-sleeping-problems.htm
    I don’t know if it will help.
    Keep_Hoping have you looked into Vagus Nerve Stimulation. I know of a patient who has great success with that. I also talked with my TMS coordinator who again referred to the patient that had TMS and they thought it had not worked for him. He contacted them a couple of years later with a drastic change – it had worked over the course of several months after the treatment. I keep hoping for you.

    #5490

    WarriorWon
    Participant

    Sorry haven’t posted. Been extremely rough time. I knew had to have procedure done and massive stress regarding it. So my scores actually got worse last two weeks of treatment. Unfortunately don’t think it worked for me either and spent out of pocket didn’t really have to do. So I’m feeling hopeless. My insomnia has only progressively gotten worse. I can barely make myself do anything which why haven’t posted.

    #5491

    Keep_Hoping
    Participant

    12 weeks ago I started TMS. 4 weeks ago was the taper. I am SO disappointed. I don’t feel one bit better. Still waiting for this delayed reaction. No one notices any changes in me. I would give up but I have nothing to give up. My life sucks and it looks like I will feel this horrible pain for the rest of my life.

    Where does all this hype and false hope come from that TMS works? I think the success rate is WRONG! There are very few success stories, but that’s all that’s highlighted when trying to sell this. I’m angry as well as unbelievably depressed.

    On the last score sheet I filled out I finally admitted that I do think about killing myself. There’s nothing to live for except another excruciating day full of pain and no motivation.

    Colleen- I did look into Vagus Nerve Stimulation. It’s basically the same hit or miss game as TMS. The dr has to do adjusting to see what/if it works. This can take up to 9 months. You said anesthesia put you back into a depression. Why would I do that?

    My heart is broken. My children don’t have a good mom. I can’t do anything. I can’t stand another minute of this, let alone a lifetime.

    #5492

    colleencasey
    Participant

    Keep_Hoping and WarriorWon: I am saddened that TMS treatments are not showing the results that you both had hoped for. I am at a loss as to what to offer except support and encouragement not to give up. I have a friend who TMS did not work for either and I called her to find out what advice she might have. She is doing better than she was doing during and right after TMS treatments, but is not functioning optimally. She said that she takes each day and does the best she can. Her doctor told her that her diet, exercise, attitude, etc., make things better than they were and would be but they think she has a chronic virus from a former bout with mono. She was fine before mono struck. She is in her forties. She said that some days she takes it 15 mins at a time and that way before long the day is done. I know you both are working hard to find some sort of a path that would be more tolerable. Keep_Hoping you are a good mom as you are searching as hard as you can to improve your challenge. OMGoodness you are dedicated to this endeavor. Science is working overtime to try and find more answers. Don’t be like my brothers who gave up to early and now would be alive with TMS. The answers will come. You both are needed in this world. Try to stay connected. My thoughts and heart are with you both.

    #5597

    ElCablleroDelCielo
    Participant

    Alright WarriorWon, I went through a pain in the *** time to get this information to you by making an account and failing to log in ten times. haha Anyways, I want you to look up CES (Cranial Electrotherapy Stimulation). It’s a highly successful at home treatment and is FDA approved for the treatment of anxiety, depression, and insomnia. TMS therapy is great but it’s only currently FDA approved for depression, though many have reported sleeping better. But if you are having sleeping problems like I once did, I’m here to save ya. Look up these products; Fisher Wallace Stimulator, Sota Bio-Tuner, CES Ultra. Or if you prefer having therapies done in the presence of doctors look up Nexalin Technologies who offer CES therapy under clinical supervision. CES is especially effective for treating insomnia. A total of 90% of CES patients will have at least a 50% reduction in symptoms from it’s use, and 60% will have 80-90% reduction in symptoms (life changing). However it also treats anxiety AND depression as well. So use this energy medicine and be healed. God bless you. Continue with TMS for depression too though because TMS is a fantastic therapy for it. But after the therapy, if you feel things going down hill, use your CES device. Hope this helps. Also look into (PEMF’s, Healing Magnet Therapy, and Electro-Acupuncture). Psychological issues should be treated with energy medicine. If you are going to use pills, it’s safe to use them in combination with CES. Again, God bless, and may good health be with you all.

    #5795

    Katia
    Participant

    Hey! Just wanted to offer my support! Also, TMS has royally messed up my sleep as well.

    #5796

    colleencasey
    Participant

    Katia:
    Just wondering if you spoke with your doctor and whether the sleep issue you are experiencing is permanent or temporary. Also when did your sleep issue start occuring – during treatment, or after if you completed treatment? The more info we have from patients the more educated we will all be about TMS.
    Thanks.
    Colleen

    #5798

    Mass
    Participant

    I am also thinking that the TMS has effected my sleeping. After my initial treatment I was exhausted for months. Almost a year later I had a booster treatment and I am so tired all the time. I have told my primary care but wasn’t given much of an answer. I struggle to stay awake at work and even take time off to sleep or sleep on my lunch break. I don’t feel like I get a “good night’s sleep” and I exercise regularly and a have strict sleeping schedule as far as when I go to bed and how long. After reading the posts it occurred to me that the TMS could have contributed to this.

    #5799

    paulo683
    Participant

    Hi , my name is Paulino. I’m from Sao Paulo, Brazil. my terrible insomnia started after only one application of Brainsway Deep TMS in july 2015. I was on Valdoxan for 2 months and my depression was bad.
    After the TMS the psych prescribed me Lexapro 10 mg and I realised I had this terrible insomnia. The SSRI’s never caused me so much insomnia in low doses before. I told her and she prescribed me Stelazine 2mg at night.
    I also take 2 mg of Clonazepan since 2002.
    I started a new job with this medication: Lexapro 10mg in the morning and clonazepan 2mg+ stelazine 2mg at night.
    No more TMS. After 2 months I got depressed and was off work for 15 days. went to the psych and asked for Theta Burst Stimulation with a big conned shapped coil Neurosoft TMS. so far I hadn’t realised the Deep TMS had caused me the insomnia. I even asked her to make it very strong. she said “it’s very strong” and I said “don’t worry, leave it like this” I had 3 applications of this and changed anti depressant to Pristiq 50 mg.
    I was fired when I came back to work. changed AD again to Remeron 30 mg. It was when I realised the TMS ruined my sleep because Remeron used to sedate me a lot in the past and this time it was worse cause I took 2 tablets for 1 week and couldn’t sleep. That was on January 2016 and I hope it’s not going to be permanent. it seems to be getting better bit by bit. so it’s been almost 1 and a half years that i’ve been struggled to sleep and not able to work nor make any commitment.

    #5801

    colleencasey
    Participant

    paulo683:
    I am a patient so I am not qualified to address any of the medical/medication issues you have addressed in your post.
    I have had positive results in terms of my depression from TMS treatments. I do have some sleeping issues, which I have had all my life, so it is difficult to attribute them to TMS. I had treatment with the Neurostar System and from what I understand Brainsway and Neurostar have differences as well as similarities in treatment delivery.
    I can only speak from my position as a patient. I was wondering whether a full course of TMS would affect your sleeping any more than the one treatment has. My question would be whether your depression would improve with a full course of TMS if your sleeping issues wouldn’t get any worse. I know there is no way to predict this but since not being depressed as a result of treatment, I function much more normally – with clarity and energy, even though I do deal with the sleep issue. Is that something to consider?
    These issues are complex and challenging so I send positive thoughts and support as you continue your journey through this. Let us know how you are doing.

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by  colleencasey.
    #5803

    paulo683
    Participant

    I never had a full coarse of TMS. it’s kind of expensive and as far as I know there’s no Neurostar in Brazil yet.
    Mostly Magstim, Magventure, Neurosoft and Brainsway.
    In 2012 I had 10 sessions of rTMS in a Neurosoft(Russian) equipment. I was on one SSRI that I can’t remember and 2mg of Klonopin at night.
    I cannot say that it helped. Maybe it was only a psychologic (placebo) effect. sometimes I remember leaving the clinic happier but not compared to the amazing happiness I felt when I took the first AD in my life, which was Paxil.
    This normal rTMS haven’t caused me insomnia , from 2012 to 2014. I used to do it once every two weeks.
    It was when I had only 1 session of Brainsway Deep TMS in july 2015. Then 3 sessions of Theta Burst TMS in January 2016. Since then I want all kinds of TMS away from me!
    So , I can’t answer your question because I never had a full coarse of TMS.

    #5806

    Nefelibata_NI
    Participant

    I have been on different meds for depression, terrible insomnia since I was a teen. I am 44 now. By what I have read it seems nobody here has had good results with TMS. I was considering 20 intensive TMS sessions. Now I am not really sure anymore if I should go ahead wit that.

    :

    #5807

    Mass
    Participant

    Hi there! I am 44 also. I have been on meds for 25 years (3 daily). I work full time and have 2 children. I can say that TMS isn’t the ultimate cure but I would definitely do it again. I am still on all my meds, only 1 was decreased a bit. However, I do not think about killing myself on a daily basis any longer. Some days are still a struggle to get through but I’ve put in a lot of work with a counselor to change my way of thinking. TMS is a tool you just need to work at utilizing it after you have it. I had a relapse about a year after and I finally gave in and called my Dr. to have booster treatments. I feel those helped also. I think if you go into it thinking it could help improve you and not that you will flip like a light switch and be great, that will help. I was hoping for a miracle but have learned to except the slight change or push in the right direction. Please keep asking questions and researching. This site helped me a lot during treatment.

    #5816

    colleencasey
    Participant

    Nefelibata_NI

    I had TMS 6 years ago and I have had remission and am off all meds. I do go for booster treatments about once a year for 3 treatments. Even with this result, I still struggle at times to manage my disorder as there are triggers and life situations that are bumps in the road.
    I agree with Mass. TMS is a tool not a cure as depression is a chronic illness. When I was at a NAMI meeting a few years ago a patient was presenting with a different diagnosis and did not undergo TMS. But I learned a very valuable lesson from him. And it is this. A brain disorder and subsequent mental illness is an eclectic condition which takes a broad base of tools to address. Eating right, exercise, education about one’s particular diagnosis, support systems, treatment (meds, therapy, etc.) all help to some degree but when combined and attended to daily, help to a larger degree. As Mass said a shift in perspective to thinking about the tools we need to use each day and using them (even though this can be a monumental task at time) is helpful. This is not an easy path we have been given and we can’t give it or have it taken away so learning to co-partner with it and helping others understand this can help us manage our lives better. Also, many patients need booster treatments. My doctor advises that the sooner you recognize that you are slipping back and the quicker you get in for boosters the easier the depression is to treat and less amount of treatments are necessary.
    Hope this is somewhat helpful. Good luck and let us know how you are doing.

Viewing 50 posts - 1 through 50 (of 52 total)

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.