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hi all. i promised an update awhile ago but life had other plans. i continued that second round of 36 treatments until around mid august of 2019 and felt better. i was able to listen to music again. i felt old quirks and hobbies coming back. it felt like i’d come back from the dead. from august to december i was doing very well. i had a few rough spots but nothing major. i only started to decline mentally when i went on birth control (taytulla) in december. it made me feel like i was going crazy and i bled for three months straight. coming off of that i was diagnosed with PMDD. I’ve been struggling again recently but it’s been mostly situational and i’ve handled it much better than i would’ve a year ago. I’d be interested in possibly doing more rounds of TMS some day but right now i’m focused on treating my hormonal imbalance and seeing if that fixes some things. i hope that everything is well with you all and hope to hear of more progress!
Hi everyone. It’s crazy to think it’s been a year since I wrote my original post… I’m so sorry i haven’t updated anyone since. I honestly had forgotten about this forum because my email didn’t send me the notifications. For a short answer on if the second round worked: yes. I’m still on vyvanse (40 mg in the morning and another 20 mg at 12 pm) and i also take lorazepam for anxiety when needed. I’m going to make a new thread going into more detail on my experience and how i’ve been doing. I hope to hear back from you all to see how you’re doing. Love to all and stay safe.
thank you Deb!
WEEK 5 (session 21)
It’s crazy to think i’m almost done with my second round of TMS! I’m sorry for not posting as frequently as i’d like to but i’ve been working hard and doing a set much as i can while i feel good. My mood has been improving as the weeks have gone by. Today i was up and feeling fine without too much fatigue. I feel slightly energized. I’m hoping it continues getting better!hey junebeatle!
i’m not positive, but i think i’m currently doing a little under 20 min left side stimulation and then 10 right side. i tried medications and i’ve never been able to get to the therapeutic dose because the side effects are so horrible! i’ve noticed that i’ve been more irritable lately but i think that’s just my brain getting used to processing emotions again instead of just feeling sad all the time. the increased functioning is the first thing i felt before feeling better! i was still feeling tired and depressed but it was like my body was acting on its own and getting things done. the next week my mood seemed to get better and i didn’t cry once or have any breakdown! i’ve been feeling really good since that intitial increase in functioning. i am so sorry you’re dealing with so much while you’re going through your own internal battle. my brother is special needs and used to be very aggressive when we were younger which i think was the cause of most of my anxiety and minor PTSD. he’s 18 now and about to move away for college which we never would’ve expected in a million years. miracles do happen! i think you’re so close to feeling like yourself again at least a little bit. the small moments turn into bigger moments and the bigger moments turn into an underlying feeling of hope. i’ll be praying for you and your family every night. keep me posted!!WEEK 4 (session 15)
I’m actually feeling really good compared to my usual baseline mood. i’m able to be sad without letting it knock me down, i’ve been getting lots of work done, and i don’t wake up with a feeling of dread anymore. i still feel fatigued but it doesn’t feel impossible to function. today i did school work for 4 hours and i still have some energy left. it feels like something lit a fire of joy in me and it’s slowly (very slowly) burning bigger and bigger everyday. i pray to God that it doesn’t go away and that TMS is working.WEEK 3
I didn’t have time to write an update about week 3 but i’ll try to remember it as best as i can. I started feeling better around the end of week 2, and by the middle of week 3 i felt good. I’ve been noticing some of my old mannerisms coming back and my old hobbies seem a bit fun again. The underlying feeling of hopelessness was slowly fading away. i’m still not sure if it’s TMS doing this but i’m not complaining! some other things i changed that it could be are i went off my birth control, i’ve been taking multi vitamins and folic acid regularly, and i’ve been drinking a cup of pom every day.hi junebeatle,
yes keep fighting for them because it will get better! i’m actually feeling amazing. the past two weeks i’ve felt a lot better and more like myself again. i get what you mean about the 2017 version of you. i’d do anything to have the old me back and i’m starting to think she’s coming soon. i’ve slowly been noticing my thinking process is changing and i don’t feel hopeless anymore. i don’t know if it’s the TMS or something else, but somethings working! another 36 sessions might reall make a difference if you have the opportunity to do it. keep me posted!WEEK 2 (session 10)
I finished my tenth session today and i’m back at my baseline again. I don’t feel any worse or any better. My EEG was done yesterday so hopefully that provides some insight into what’s wrong with me. Will update if anything changes!hi junebeatle!
it sounds like you may be in the dip period. i experiences this around my second week of treatment and it lasted about 2 weeks. it was horrible and scary and very similar to what you’re describing. it’ll get better, just hang in there! i hope this works for you!WEEK 2 (SESSION 8)
I woke up today feeling how i normally do but that’s most likely because i pulled an all nighter lol. Treatment was normal and still feels like someone’s punching a bruise but it’s tolerable. The neurologist i met with yesterday ordered a blood test and an EEG to be done since i mentioned my delta brain waves are off. I’m lucky cause the place that does the TMS also does the EEG and neurologist and stuff. i’m feeling pretty good today (by good i mean a little worse than neutral). It’s much better than my baseline. I’m trying to get more sun and drink pomegranate juice (i drink the Pom brand) to increase my anxtioxidents and vitamins. i’m not sure if it’s a combination of this and the TMS that’s making me feel better but i really feel good. I’m still pretty fatigued but the majority of the grief and dread is gone. I don’t wanna jynx it so i’m not gonna start praying to Neurostar but i’m hopeful that this could be it. i’ll be meeting with the psychiatrist next week so hopefully he has a treatment for the fatigue. If anything else significant changes today i’ll post another update on it. i want this to be as detailed as possible because i know that’s what i was looking for when i was searching through these forums.SESSION 7 UPDATE
Something weird happened after i posted yesterday. I still felt pretty bad but for some reason i subconsciously started doing work and getting stuff done. It was a miracle. I remember sitting at my computer thinking “is this actually happening? am i actually doing work?” and, shockingly, i was. I started feeling like myself yesterday even if it was a little bit and lasted a few hours. it was amazing and i couldn’t be more grateful. i’m not sure if it was the TMS or maybe the pomegranate juice i was drinking but it was a difference.hey! i made a thread to document my second round of TMS under “Documentation of Second Round of TMS” because i barely see any mention of people doing another 36. i’m gonna try to update often in there so people can read about what that entails. it’s been kinda scary cause i’m not sure what to expect but i’m praying it works!
Hey aleruna
any updates on your progress? i did 36 sessions of rTMS and just started another 36. I experienced the dip period around that time too and it sucks a lot. i hope you’re out of it now and that TMS helped!WEEK 1 (on session 7)
I just finished session 7 of my second round. At the start, it hurt almost as bad as the first time i did it but got better again. I’ve always had a score of around 27 and that kept pretty consistent. I didn’t feel anything weird until yesterday night. I’m not sure if it was the TMS but while i was at dinner out of nowhere i just felt super dizzy, out of it, my head was heavy and i couldn’t talk. When i finally got home i had a huge breakdown and started sobbing and shaking til 2 am. I just wanted to die. It was horrible and felt like i was mourning my own death. I thought i’d feel better in the morning but when i woke up i felt that same burden of grief and heaviness. When i went to my session the technician noticed that something was really wrong and got really concerned. My medicine kicked in after a bit so i felt better, but still a lot worse than my default. Then in the car i felt the same way i did last night and have been feeling that way since. I wonder if i’m experiencing an early dip period? I’m hoping it goes away by tomorrow but as of right now I feel completely empty and lost. If anyone else has done another 36 sessions of TMS i’d appreciate some insight. This is really scary for me but i’d do anything to have my life back, so i’m praying this works.SUMMARY OF FIRST 36 SESSIONS
The first day I did TMS I felt completely better with no fatigue and a lot of energy. I hadn’t felt that way since sixth grade and haven’t felt that way since. I was back to normal the next day and steady for about a week. The second week i hit the dip period and completely crashed below what i thought was rock bottom. I was suicidal and completely hopeless. I wasn’t warned by my facility about the dip period because i guess it’s not an official side effect, so i didn’t know what was going on. It lasted until the middle of week 5 and then i started feeling better. I felt better than i normally do but not a significant change. Then week 6 and my last few sessions i went right back to how i was before i started TMS. the psychiatrist that works at the place i go said that (and i don’t know how accurate these stats are but he said he’s been working on TMS for 12 years) about 70% of people feel better after 36 sessions. Of the 30% that don’t, 70% of them that did another 36 felt better. Basically he said some people just need more sessions and since i reacted to the TMS he believed another 36 would really help. My insurance wouldn’t cover it cause i’m a minor but he said he’s gotten minors covered before and he’d help us. It took two months but i got approved and just started another 36.ABOUT ME
I’m a 17 year old girl that’s been suffering from MDD for the last 6 years. My diagnoses are MDD that’s treatment resistant, anxiety, minor PTSD, and chronic fatigue. i’m about to do a sleep study to determine if i have DSPD. I’ve tried 3 different anti depressants but have never been able to get to the therapeutic dose due to side effects. i’m currently on vyvanse to help with the fatigue. At the end of my first 36 sessions I had to drop out of school because i physically couldn’t get up in the morning and make it through a full day, but that was not because of the TMS. We thought the TMS would help that but it didn’t so i had to drop out. i used to self harm and have attempted suicide twice. My depression is mostly due to a chemical imbalance and not situational.yes that’s how i felt throughout my initial treatment! it sucks being so young and wanting so badly to be able to do the things your friends are doing but not being able to fit in just right. i’ve read some horror stories about brainsway and their success rate is a lot lower than neurostar. i’m hoping this next 36 sessions cures me. the psychiatrist they have at my place has been working on TMS for 12 years and is using it to cure alheimerzers and migraines and he said 70% of people that do neurostar TMS feel relief after 36 sessions, and of those that it didn’t help that do another 36 sessions, 70% of them feel relief. im not 100% sure where he got those stats but he’s really knowledgeable about TMS so i’m hoping it’s true. i hope in your last few sessions it works completely and your depression goes away because i know how much it sucks! what i say is “if not this, then something else” meaning if this doesn’t work something else will.
same here! i’ve always had great memory but as soon as i started TMS my short term memory got completely fried. i cant even remember what someone said to me seconds after they say it. it’s bad
i’m no expert in this but i’d like to share what my psychiatrist who’s been working on TMS for 12 years told me about insurance. if you appeal as a medical emergency and send in all records of failed treatments or notes from therapy sessions, they should approve it. they basically have to chose whether they want to pay a hospital bill or for the treatment. that’s how i got my insurance to cover. if you have a psychiatrist ask them what steps they normally take to appeal an insurance companies decision.i hope this helps a bit, and if not i hope there’s another way for it to be covered!
