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  • in reply to: too many TMS treatments; made things worse #34427

    entenmk
    Spectator

    @desperateddaughter

    I can only speak from my experience and don’t want to offer advice/suggestions.

    I completed 36 bilateral treatments (technically 31 bi and 5 just on right). Throughout the treatment I started feeling more depressed than I ever have. Suicidal thoughts and the whole nine. I kept on reading that it gets worse before better, about the dip, etc. and kept pushing through. I also got the same from the Tms tech -!promoting all 36 sessions for remission.

    It is now 4 months after my last treatment, and my depression is worse than it’s ever been. The treatment also generated a large amount of anxiety in the first couple weeks. Thank God the majority of the suicidal thoughts have gone down, but it’s (the depression) is still deep. It also took a good 2 months after treatment for the anxiety to subside a bit. While no scientific evidence can show this treatment worsens depression, I firmly believe it did mine, or at least activated something, and now I’ve “crashed”

    Some individuals report having poorer moods and increased depression throughout the treatment, and then getting a “ lift.” I however did not experience that – if anything I feel like I’ve stayed in a dip.

    I know this isn’t a concrete yes or no answer, but I would try to trust your instinct. Sometimes no matter how many sessions an individual has, it just doesn’t get better. The main thing is, every brain is different, and while some report no side effects, some (and an increasing amount) are reporting poor side effects. I found that I wish I would have trusted my feeling and stopped long ago.

    Wish you well… Kyle

    in reply to: Monoaminergic Effects vs Anxiety #34372

    entenmk
    Spectator

    Great @jcl311

    You came out of the depression or the anxiety (both?). How is the anxiety- still feeling really activated ??

    in reply to: When Did you Experience Dip? #34370

    entenmk
    Spectator

    @lasthope97

    Just curious if any of your depressive symtoms
    ever lifted ??

    in reply to: Monoaminergic Effects vs Anxiety #34369

    entenmk
    Spectator

    @jcl311

    I did right side only for a week to try to settle the anxiety from the initial treatments … but really didn’t give it long

    Kyle

    in reply to: Monoaminergic Effects vs Anxiety #34366

    entenmk
    Spectator

    @jcl311

    Right side may have helped for a couple hours afterwards ,… but it wasn’t “magic” like they claimed it would be in keeping the activation down. It wasn’t this balancing act they portrayed so eloquently with words.

    I definitely regret my tenacity as I wanted to see this through till the end – it was a big investment. I was sick of the pill game so I went all out.

    Now all I can is pray and hope I will get some relief … eat well and be easy on myself.

    in reply to: Monoaminergic Effects vs Anxiety #34364

    entenmk
    Spectator

    @jcl311

    I still get bouts of anxiety interspersed with dips in mood. It felt like I was on speed or something when i was doing it … was very uncomfortable and couldn’t pay attention to anything because my mind felt so jacked. My brain was definitely being overstimmed. I also had trouble sleeping and my chest would be tight and heart race. It was not a good experience. Its hard when you have professionals telling you things and they have a way words – Trust your gut though. Let me know if you have any other questions …

    in reply to: Monoaminergic Effects vs Anxiety #34362

    entenmk
    Spectator

    @jcl311

    Everyone is different, but I wish I would have stopped treatment . I tried to “push” on and now am experiencing side effects lasting from treatment. I was doing bilateral and while it sounds nice thinking that this anxiety is the depression rising to the surface or whatever, I have to believe that in many cases it’s the machine overstimulating something. It’s a tough place to be because you want results but you’re unsure whether to continue. …

    Wishing you the best

    in reply to: TMS…not for Anxiety #34348

    entenmk
    Spectator

    @dwstuhr

    Do you feel your symptoms arising from treatment have subsided any ??

    in reply to: Need help with my wife #34346

    entenmk
    Spectator

    @springercali,

    What kind of symptoms are you experiencing? I finished TMS 5 weeks ago and still have these “dips” during the day where my mood plummets down. I will feel “okay” and then just get irritable and sad. I never remember experiencing these before treatment It scares me even talking about it, because I pray I can heal.
    I have a combination of anger and fear for going through with this treatment. Again, I personally know individuals whom have had good success, but not for me, and I’m just hoping for some leveling out.
    I also plan on speaking with my pcp about getting a referral to neurologist. An MRI apparently won’t show damage, but maybe he/she can suggest some things to possibly ease my mind.

    Wishing you health – Kyle

    in reply to: Starting treatment #6 … #34319

    entenmk
    Spectator

    @junebeatle

    Well- I’m done. I can’t say I feel much, if any better. Sure, something could happen, but I’m doubtful. I’m just relieved it’s over- it was not a fun experience. Again, I’m sure it works for some people, but it’s looking like a dud for me. Biggest thing is I just pray my brain completely heals as I swear every time I had a treatment it seems my mood would dip later in the day and into the following day. It was a tough couple months.

    I’m glad you are doing well and thank you for all your support. 🤗.

    Stay blessed- Kyle.

    in reply to: Starting treatment #6 … #34303

    entenmk
    Spectator

    Hi @junebeatle

    Thanks for checking in. Last couple days my mind has been fairly calm. It hasn’t been the crazy ups and downs , but I can’t say i necessarily feel “better”. Probably about the same as when I started. Maybe a little more energy and less brain fog but I still wake up with quite a bit of negative thoughts about the day. I was hoping to feel a little better but we shall see- 3 more sessions left… the tech said they have not been successful with insurance approving more sessions …? I can ask again but it’s looking like 36 is the number and if it doesn’t improve then I don’t know … ketamine May be next

    I appreciate your help along the journey though and I’m glad your feeling better !

    Kyle

    in reply to: Starting treatment #6 … #34298

    entenmk
    Spectator

    @junebeatle

    Thank you for your kind words. Yesterday morning I was feeling decent and then had treatment and now this morning I’m back to not feeling that good. I put on a face everyday at work that things are okay but inside they aren’t. It’s a frustrating and scary feeling.

    I’m looking into nutritional therapies too and taking a few supplements to help on this process. I also have an appt scheduled with a naturopath next week to assess some things.

    I appreciate your support and will keep you updated …
    Thank you
    Kyle

    in reply to: Starting treatment #6 … #34296

    entenmk
    Spectator

    @junebeatle-

    Continuing on in this process. It’s certainly not easy- I have to say I have felt worst throughout this process… more lows for sure – just praying that my brain will get back to its prior state… I’ve got 10 sessions left and it’s just tough to have the faith that it’ll get better

    Kyle

    in reply to: Starting treatment #6 … #34294

    entenmk
    Spectator

    Hi @junebeatle-

    And the process continues. Having quite a bit of irritability today. Frustrated , sad, emotional… just tired of feeling this way…

    No I have yet to play any games but it sounds like a good idea to help keep the brain going and work on those connections ..

    Continuing to pray for strength

    in reply to: Starting treatment #6 … #34291

    entenmk
    Spectator

    @junebeatle

    I am approved for 36 treatments total. My goal is to definitely continue with and see how things go. Its definitely been a roller coaster for sure. Hopefully things will even out as I continue, but we shall see. I’ll try to hold on to the truth that things aren’t getting worse- that’s just my feelings and they are obviously skewed for sure especially under the grip of depression!

    I’ll keep you posted.

    Thanks!

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 12 months ago by  entenmk.
    in reply to: Starting treatment #6 … #34289

    entenmk
    Spectator

    @junebeatle-

    Just an update – last week I resumed with bilateral treatments. That puts me at a total of 20 with 15 being bilateral. All was okay, and then Saturday and into this week I’ve experienced another “dip” of low emotions and feeling much sadder and hopeless than before treatment.

    I’m trying to hold faith and finish treatments no matter what, but when I’m feeling this way it’s so easy to think that I’m causing harm and going to cause more damage. It’s a bad place to be in. I just keep telling myself to keep going – so tired of waking up with such heaviness and lack of luster for
    Life.

    Hope you are well and your continuing to progress with post treatment ! Thanks

    Kyle

    in reply to: Starting treatment #6 … #34287

    entenmk
    Spectator

    Hi @junebeatle

    Last week was all right sided due to the increase in anxiety. The anxiety has gone down thankfully and I started bilateral again this week. I’m continuing to hope it doesn’t go back up- though I would assume it will after a couple more sessions. Maybe I can get a few more in and then finish right side of the anxiety is too strong..? Hopefully my brain can use whatever it gets – it’s definitely being activated tho as I can tell I have more energy and such …

    in reply to: Starting treatment #6 … #34283

    entenmk
    Spectator

    @junebeatle

    They have been doing bilateral – but that was still causing the increase anxiety/agitation.

    Thanks for the support – I have not tried Ketamine – though I would look into it for sure, especially the nasal spray – that looks somewhat promising…

    Thanks!

    in reply to: Starting treatment #6 … #34280

    entenmk
    Spectator

    @junebeatle

    The last week on vacation was interesting. I definitely get what they say when its a rollercoaster! I had days with hours where I felt really down, then I felt okay, and then I felt pretty good! This happened on random days throughout the trip. It was weird, scary, and frustrating all at the same time.

    The biggest concern though is the anxiety – its like a full body anxiety, and while it did go down, its only 50% better and causing problems with sleep. I don’t want to overstimulate myself. I told the treating team, and they are only doing right sided treatments this week. I hate doing that because I want to make sure I treat the depression – but I don’t want to cause any more activation -its very uncomfortable! I hope this week I can take care of self and try the left side again next week.

    I don’t know what else to do besides that – I just keep on hoping and praying that I will get some relief.

    Cheers –
    Kyle


    entenmk
    Spectator

    @junebeatle-

    I wish you all the luck with that. Having been on benzodiazepines before, I know the withdrawal can be tough. Diazepam (Valium) fortunately has a very long half life so stepping down should (theoretically) be easier than a shorter acting like Alprazolam (Xanax).

    Make sure you take extra good care of self and practice good self care- I know you can do it – just realize like the TMS- it’s going to have its ups and downs.

    Let me know how it goes ! Kyle

    in reply to: Starting treatment #6 … #34272

    entenmk
    Spectator

    Thanks junebug… you said up above that when you mentioned that to the treating team they started to do more “left sided” treatments ? Did you possibly mean more right sided as that’s where I feel would be more beneficial for anxiety.

    I will talk with them on Monday and vent my concerns- if they can’t change up, or are unwilling to change protocol if the angst doesn’t go down then that’s gonna be a red flag for me… I’ll keep ya posted tho !

    Kyle

    in reply to: Starting treatment #6 … #34270

    entenmk
    Spectator

    Thanks for the support junebeatle. Vacation has been going okay- though today has been particularly rough as I’m feeling low emotionally. Like these lows come in waves, some days are better than others, but I can definitely say I never experienced these ups and downs till Tms.

    My anxiety is better and I don’t feel like I’m out edge all the time. I can understand some anxiousness, but I was pretty ranked up. This is kind of scary though as I start back on Monday, and if I get that all day, into the night edgy/anxious feeling like I have been I will be really hesitant to continue treatment as I’ve read some stories on here where that anxiety doesn’t get better and people regret not discontinuing sooner.

    Trying not to let the anxiety/depression get in the way of treatment but it certainly is bothering me.

    ThAnk you and stay well. 🤗

    in reply to: Starting treatment #6 … #34268

    entenmk
    Spectator

    Junebeatle-

    Thank you for your response. I go in for #10 tomm and then I’m off for a week for vacation. I’ve mentioned the concerns to my doc which he said to take melatonin. I’ve tried it but it doesn’t seem to do much.

    I’m interested to see if this anxiety calms a little during the week break. If it does then I know it’s the treatment and the docs gonna have to do something to help with sleep.

    I’ve been thorough with the tech who is very supportive but says she doesn’t have too many who experience these symptoms so that’s a little scary. Anyways – I will keep ya updated. Thanks for your response and guidance !

    in reply to: Starting treatment #6 … #34266

    entenmk
    Spectator

    Just had treatment #9 today. Again, more energy, but for sure more activation. The tech said that typically she has people sleeping better and not worse- however I can say this is not true for me. Discouraging for sure as I don’t like feeling activated.

    They are also doing bilateral treatment – did anyone else has this experience and did it go away ??

    Thanks.
    Kyle

    in reply to: Starting treatment #6 … #34261

    entenmk
    Spectator

    Thanks for the kind words @ junebeatle. Yesterday was interesting as I actually had some darker, more depressing thoughts and feelings. Today though I feel better, and have more energy- actually more interested in doing things, which is a plus !!

    The only negative I’ve noticed tho is it seems my anxiety is higher- kind of a tightness in my chest. I’m getting bilateral treatments done so I pray that this goes away or I can find I way to help it. I will talk to tech tomorrow .

    Overall tho, mood seems a bit better.

    Thanks

Viewing 25 posts - 1 through 25 (of 25 total)