May 4, 2019 at 3:00 am #34209
I have only posted one initial post and have only commented a few times. But I do read posts on here when I have a little spare time. I started my treatments in the 2nd week on April. I officially crossed the halfway mark today. Day 15!
I am doing TMS primarily for PTSD and chronic pain. And everyine with PTSD deals with depression as a “secondary diagnosis (or a subset of PTSD, that is).” That’s why I’ve been getting bilateral treatments. I havent keep a mood diary ever before in my life, and haven’t kept track of PTSD symptoms in a couple years because I was embarrassed of my condition. But I have started tracking my mood and have been keeping notes on any panic/PTSD symptoms as well. (Currently using the app eMoods and love it. So simple and easy!)
So that being said, I wanted to share a little bit of what I’ve observed throughout my first half of treatment.
1) I started my treatment on a Wednesday. By the next Monday (a full 5 days), I realized I had experienced NO severe pain at all over the weekend. I have degenerative disc disease, and since our entire body depends on our spine, I’m prone to severe pain levels on any part of my body at any time and for however long the pain determines. Pain is no longer calling the shots.
This Wednesday, I had felt very sick from my allergies and was unable to go in. This is the only appointment I’ve had to skip, and plan to make it the last. I felt like all the pain just came right back. So I’m not sure what to expect with this after completing treatment. But I am hopeful. It is Friday of the same week as I’m writing this, and the pain is no more. TMS might be the best nerve blocker ever!
2) I have noticed myself getting amxious less often. My anxiety goes to panic in a split second, given the PTSD diagnosis. I have very specific symptoms that can tell me when my panic is in overdrive. I get nauseous, flushed, and my hands get the pins-and-needles feeling. I have had NONE of these. Nor have I had a panic/anxiety attack. This is amazing.
Today, I misplaced my debit card and disnt know it until I went to pay for an errand I was doing. I was at the register and didnt have it. Ill wager to guess that any of us in Th So forum would have been prone to a major anxiety attack in that situation. I started getting moderately anxious and in a matter of 3-5 minutes (approx.), I was able to talk myself through it. I was able to find it about 15 minutes later because I wasn’t blinded by panic, as I call it. This is an enormous accomplishment. I can guarantee it wouldn’t have happened without TMS.
3) Even prior to TMS I hadn’t had a major depressive episode on a few months. It tends to work a little differently with PTSD. I stay in a constant numb and unmotivated/uninterested state towards pretty much everything and everyone. Even those people and things I love. But my actual depression episodes seem to come specifically after a panic attack/PTSD episode. It is the ptsd epsiode first, and then shame/depression follow in the immediate minutes after.
I have felt truly good since day 3 of TMS. Not perfect. Not elevated or whatver. But just good. I have started to enjoy doing things again. I have lost a lot of the apathy that once seemed permanently attached to me. I’m thrilled.
4) I have had one period during my TMS treatment. I noticed almost no PMS symptoms. The chronic cramps and pain were very minimal and my mood was level. I had low irritability. It was amazing.
5) Lastly: I am sleeping well. Since about day 4, I have started falling asleep without my sleep medication. Not on purpose, and if I will take it asap if I wake up again. For example, I like to lay down and read, watch tv, etc before bed. Rather than fall asleep around 2 AM, I now fall asleep around 10 PM most nights. It sometimes happens without my meds. I just fall asleep. Sometimes I wake up a little later, like 11 PM- 12 PM. I then take my meds, and fall right back asleep. I can say I’ve never experienced easy and/or sound sleep for most of my life.
I am so hopeful as I go into the last half. I also hope this encouraged someone else as well.
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