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I just had my 17th treatment and I’m not feeling much different. I had a really bad dip this past weekend and started crying in the chair yesterday. From everything I’ve read, I should start to feel something at least by the 20th treatment. I starting to get worried that this isn’t working for me.
Otis:
Sorry to hear this news. One thing to remember is that every person responds differently to TMS. Some may feel noticeably and dramatically better after the 4th week, whereas for some, it may take PAST the end of a full 6-7 weeks of treatment to feel anything, and some may not even notice they are feeling better altogether until someone points it out. The point being that right now it is rough, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t getting better.
On the whole, it is very important to follow the direction of your doctor. They are familiar with your case, and can help you determine if TMS is actually taking effect. Either way, hang in there. I’m rooting for you!.
Hello Otis175
I am on my 13th treatment and has an awful dip at the weekend – Monday was filled with anxiety then Tuesday was better – the treatment is so different for each person I have spoken to – I am from England – please keep us posted with your progress and good luck – we are all waiting for the light bulb moment – sometimes it comes sooner for some people and later for others sending good wishes
kuku:
The light bulb moments some times begin at a lower wattage rather than all of a sudden being at 100 watts. Watch for the little changes like a smile here or there, a feel good moment among the difficult ones, etc. Hopefully the dip is past and the improvements will appear. Nice to hear from you from England. Sending best wishes across the ocean. Let us know how you are progressing!
ColleenTomorrow morning will be my day 14. I have definitely encountered the dip (as we call it apparently in TMS lingo:) but what I have been inundated with is horrible anxiety in addition to the depression. I told my husband today I feel worse than I did when I started! Unfortunately, I got some jarring news from my cardiologist on day 1 (horrible timing, absurd even) about the fact that I am having a LOT of PVCs and have to stop taking Adderall, the only drug that has significantly helped me with ADD and to lesser extent depression. I am terrified of how I will get through my day/work/kids/life without it. I also have to wear a heart monitor for 24-48 hours tomorrow and am just panicked about it: that I will get more bad news when I’m trying to give TMS a chance to work. I feel like this other issue is somehow “ruining” the TMS, although I realize how silly that sounds when I write it out. Has anyone else had bad anxiety show up and still had TMS work ultimately? I wish this I’m sure largely stress related heart issue had not shown up to complicate things. But life doesn’t stop for us, does it?!
Hi erinb:
It is a positive attribute that you are reaching out for information and support. The dip can be one of the most difficult experiences during treatment. The good news is that it is temporary. When it lifts, hopefully some of the anxiety you are experiencing will lift. Are you having bilateral treatments? I have adhd and was on adderall for years. When I had treatment on the right side, I no longer needed the adderall – I have been off of it for over 5 years. Also right side TMS treatments can help reduce anxiety. I have developed anxiety over the past three years and was taking Klonopin routinely. Now it is a rare occasion that I need it. I have 3 TMS booster treatments yearly and my anxiety and adhd are in remission (so to speak). If you are not receiving bilateral treatments, you may want to ask your doctor about it. If it is an option, it may be helpful to have the treatments now as you are proceeding with treatment for your depression. In February I had a medical procedure involving anesthesia (which is a depressant). It threw me into a depression. With 3 bilateral treatments and an observation time of 2 weeks, I was back in remission with depression, anxiety and adhd. I find it amazing. Coincidentally four weeks ago I came close to a massive heart attack (thank goodness for other medical treatments too!), and had to wear a monitor, etc. No part of the experience or treatment has affected the outcome of my TMS treatments. Actually my positive response to TMS treatments has supported my recovery with the heart issue.
TMS treatments are challenging, however keeping connected with your treatment team, conversing with your support system, engaging with this site, etc., help support your courageous efforts in dealing with depression, anxiety, etc. Stay connected. Meditation, good nutrition, exercise, all help too. Sending continuous support.
ColleenHiColeen,
Let me first thank you from the heart for your kind, well thought out and insightful posts. So helpful and hopeful both. I am having bilateral treatments, since anxiety is definitely a part of depression for me, so that’s good, too. I stopped taking Cymbalta in January because it just wasn’t working and seemed only to provide side effects–but I realize now that while it didn’t alleviate depression, it did put a bit of a floor underneath it so that I wouldn’t fall totally down the rabbit hole. Then I decided to try TMS, and while I’ve still been taking Adderall and a bit of Klonopin (1 mg) for sleep, I haven’t had an antidepressant since about a month before treatment began. With the heart complications I mentioned above and no antidepressant, I definitely feel WORSE than when I started. Monday will be the beginning of my fourth week. I am terrified of what my heart monitor results will be, which I will find out on Thursday–I have been having terrible anxiety and chest pain/palpitations, and while I know in my head that this is probably because I am so stressed out, it is really hard to hold on here. I do have a high number of documented PVCs that scare the crap out of me in addition to the depression I am already feeling. That unknown adds a whole new layer of fear. But I have two young children and a writing career and life I want so desperately to get back to: I heard my children laughing earlier today in the backyard and it just broke my heart. I cannot express how deeply I want to be able to dive into that with them the way I used to, to enjoy their childhoods, to love being the mom to these wonderful little people, and I feel like I’m running out of options. All of this coupled with the reality that I will have to stop the Adderall (I’m tapering down now) is really devastating: that was not any part of what I thought I would be dealing with now. I’m tapered down to 15mg and will drop again this week. Was it hard for you to stop taking it after taking it for so long? I never abused it and took it as prescribed, but I keep reading about these horrible withdrawal stories! Sigh. So many unknowns. I just want to get this depression under control: it’s hard to know what is “the dip,” what is withdrawal, and what is just life. But on the upside, I have been great with my diet and with exercise and supplements. Sleep is another story!:) I am also incredibly grateful for this forum. What a relief to have a place to talk with people who understand. Thanks all.
erinb:
Thank you for your supportive message. It means a great deal to me. I feel so grateful that TMS has worked for me. I want it to work for everyone. I think supporting others going through TMS is an important part of giving back.
Wow you have a lot on your plate. It is difficult to decipher what issues and responses belong to what stimulus during TMS. It is complicated and confusing. You seem to be handling this with determination and persistence. You are to be admired for sure. Please don’t doubt that for a moment.
My heart hurts when I hear you describe the experience with your children. My biggest heart ache through life has been what my children have suffered as a result of my depression. However, we must remember that life gives us all challenges along the way, most often starting in childhood. You are doing the best you can under these difficult circumstances and you deserve respect for all you are doing to manage these with all of your other responsibilities.
In terms of the Adderall – my insurance stopped paying for slow-acting Adderall, which I was on. Consequently I had to go on fast acting and I had an adverse reaction to it. I went off it immediately – with no tapering so yes I did have a difficult time for a short time. Then I had TMS bilateral treatments and it quickly resulted in the remission of my ADHD. You are receiving bilateral treatments now so you may not need Adderall after TMS ends.
erinb what you are going through can be terrifying. However, once the treatments are over and your brain and body settle down from the intense stimulus, things will work themselves out and clarity will come. One piece of advice, from one who did the same thing, stop reading information because whatever your response is going to be will be. I am a research bug and had to step away from reading everything I could get my hands on because I was driving myself crazy. Your experience may not be as bad as others. You are tapering under your doctor’s care. That is important. Things will settle for sure. This is a difficult time no doubt. Persist as you have been doing. You will be done with treatments soon and shortly the doctors and you will be able to assess the outcome. (I hate the unknown too!) Do what you are doing. It is a good path. Sending lots of understanding, compassion and hugs.Hi,
How are you doing now? I would love to hear an update. I just finished my 25th treatment and seem to have begun a dip a week or a week and a half ago. Not feeling ANYTHING yet. VERY scared too. : (
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