Bipolar Depression and TMS

I too suffer from Bipolar Depression and was at my wits end to find a alternative to treatment. Was even drastically thinking of Electroshock. I have liver issues and to start or continue taking medicine that was NOT helping would do more harm then good. I have completed half of my TMS therapy treatments and have seen and felt improvement. I too found little info on this treatment other then the Neurostar website. And just brief testimonies from clients. Wanted a dialogue like this. Now I did go into this treatment with speculation and did not want the placebo effect to happen. And I don’t think it has. And this is truly helping. Subtle things of course but I don’t feel the same as I did. Now I was told that the treatment for use on the right side has not been approved. So I have a concern for your Dr even doing so. I might be wrong and he is right but I think you should question this. Either by calling another Dr who does the treatment or inquiring here. with someone. I do know studies are being done for anxiety issues for use on right side. Again don’t know if approved. I wish you luck in your treatment.

Well I do the left side and always have. And in all honesty I did not feel much till the second week. So that would have been treatment 4, 5, 6. And I had emotions but the gloom was rising. So although anxious and hypersensitive. I was becoming OK. I know the Tech, is not a Doctor so when I inquired about the right side, she might have just said they don’t do it meaning at their office. I know I was started on a 5 and up to the 10 now. I will find the paper to confirm those numbers. I believe that if your are a hypersensitive person it can seem and feel like a hammer hitting you. I bring my ipod in and play music as it makes the time pass faster and occupies my mind to not think about the noise and feeling of the pulses. I know everyone is different and handles things and reacts to things differently. But to get to this point to want this treatment you must have already been through much. Seeing it out might surprise you in the end. There is no guarantees in anything. But desperate people do desperate things. Hence both of us being here. I hope you find your answers and you get relief. I will find my hz number and get back with you, on here.

Alas, I went and found my paperwork and it does not say the hz. Just duration of treatment and pulses given. I just know they stepped up dosage and I am now receiving optimal dosage. I will inquire on Monday when I am in office. I had been off Medication for 5 years due to my liver issues. And seeking help discussed all the findings with Dr, and we came to TMS treatment. What I am finding now…is this. Suffering from depression your perception on situations are different then not being depressed. So therefore I am having to make adjustments in feelings and how to cope with things. And my health (physical) being is now more so in the forefront. And I am literally taking baby steps to regain strength and stamina. I care about moving forward where before I did not. I see my improvement as the onion layer metaphor. Peeling a layer at a time. And as they go they are becoming clearer to see through. Doctors can only read a book and understand what or how someone feels. They truly understanding is only a blanket that they look at and try to find your pattern on it. And to my understanding this treatment was to be giving to people not having good response to medication. But we all are not cookies cut with same shapes. I may have read you post wrongly but I see your underlying comments about this Dr. And feel you don’t quite trust him or enjoy his understanding. Maybe before you delve back into treatment with him. Take the time and find another one. I think I would. This was a life and death issue in my eyes (for me). And if I did not like or trusted my Doctor..I would not have went through this till I did.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 2 months ago by  Gin Doloughan.

Hello, let me tell you about my experience with TMS back January of 2016. It was a disaster that ruined my life.
I’ve had depression on and off for 35 years. The worst it ever was would be just lying around and not doing much no motivation and when i was on different meds that i hated i could come off of them and live without meds.and thats the way it was before i did TMS. After my 4th treatment i cam home and felt dizzy and neasua. I did do my Friday TMS the next week the same thing. The third week i woke up in middle night to go to the bathroom and i felt like I was going to dye.. I had this over whelming sick depression i never experienced before, i felt like i was going to dye. The next day the doctor put me on medication. I stayed on it for 5 days and came off because i wasn’t on any meds when i started and wanted to see if i got better. Then by the 17th session i started to get activated and wired. I was starting to not sleep by the 20 session i went to go to sleep and i was wired, Like i did speed. it was so scary, i wanted to drift off to sleep but i felt totaly speeded up. I did not sleep at all that night and next day went back on meds and hardly slept. then i just crashed with insane depression. Mind you before TMS i wasn’t on any meds and once in a while would take an Ativan for 2-3 days to help sleep then come off and i would sleep about 6 hours. After TMS i would take an Ativan and NO sleep, Nothing i trpppled my dosage and no sleep. I tried Seroquel 100mgs In the past Seoquel would knock me out and i would just sleep all day and be groogy. Now after TMS, Nothing NO sleep, WFT what has happenedd, I felt like i was dying.and was only sleeping 2 hours every night. My eyes were hurting, my lungs i was so exhusted but could not sleep. I never had this in my life. this went on for 2 weeks until i got to a doctor who put me on Zyprexa and Seroquel This past year has been horrible with 60lbs of weight gain from meds which i was a walking Zombie. I used to play in band guitar and i can no long do this. The doctor who did TMS said i never told her i was Bipolar. I was like what? You did the hours accesment. During treatment i was telling her i’m feeling much worse dose this happned. She flat out said Never hear of any one getting worse. She said that TMS made me Manic and thats why i could not sleep and sent me to another doctor. 11 months later life is so bad i Paid $500 to see this Dr Perera. He has been on the Dr Oz TV show promoted TMS years back. He is head of the TMS society and Pioneer in TMS, from Harvard and Columbia. During my first visti he said the exact same thing. It gave me Mania and thats why i cannot sleep. Well no one said it can cuuse Mania. On Neurostars website says does NOT cause insomnina or worsening of depression. They are liers because there is literatue out there taliing about TMS indused Mania. The problem is. I can’t sleep anymore without some powerful med. Thats so scary i was not like that before TMS. I just went 5 days with 1 hours sleep on 1 mg Klonopin does nothing. Tms has changed how medications work or do not work, thats scary in itself and now i cannot sleep and have pain all over my body from severe depression. My family wife and kids have lost their dad. I’m not the same person i was before TMS . I can not longer work and i’m in constant pain. This all started right after my last TMS treatment.

Thank you for the reply. I did a skype session with Dr Perera 2 weeks ago as he’s in Connecticut & im in Arizona. His game plan is Meds. He put me one depakote & I got more depressed after 10 days he told me to stop & said make a second appointment which he didn’t have any openings for 2 weeks so I had to honor my local doctor but yep back to meds which haven’t worked for me. I just don’t want what happens to me happen to anyone else. There are too many unknowns with this treatment.

I guess I’m a little late to this party. You’ll have to forgive the VA, they’re highly incompetent. I’ve been wrestling with depression most of my life, I’m 44. After 14 years in the military the docs added Complex PTSD and Dysthymia. In 2016 I finally accepted I wasn’t going to get better on my own and went to the VA clinic. I’ve been unemployed and have no private insurance so it was my only option. The past 18 months have been hell. I’ve got a small pharmacy worth of meds from the VA and it’s all garbage. I gained 40lbs in one month, a very attractive string of saliva spills over my lower lip when I begin to speak and I randomly stop what I’m doing to stare vacantly into space for awkward lengths of time. I was hoping an insatiable craving for brains would pull it all together but I’ll have to settle for Bipolar II. My father had it. Now it all makes sense.

I finally started TMS about 5 weeks ago, today was my 23rd session. I am also expecting Ashton Kutcher to come busting in one day and reveal that I have been Punk’d. Is this a cruel prank? Lay back and let a mechanical woodpecker thump my skull for 40 minutes every day? And if that’s not bad enough, the VA doesn’t have a machine so I have to go to a private office which is an hour drive each way. I’m exhausted, irritable, angry and discouraged to the point of utter despair. After each session I feel like a number two pencil after the SATs. The first week I spent an hour driving in circles before I got on the correct route. I guess the one positive is that I only have to pay for gas which is about $100 a week but VA is picking up the TMS tab.

I really had high hopes for this treatment. Instead I feel like Ralphy when he finally gets his Little Orphan Annie decoder ring. I don’t even know where to find Ovaltine. I’ve been patient, obedient and gone out of my way to keep any of it from affecting my family or friends. As a result I haven’t heard from any family or friends in over 4 years. I saw a quote that said, “For those who haven’t been through it, no explanation is possible. For those who have, no explanation is necessary. That’s fine, I hope they never do understand what this is like. Being angry at me though makes as much sense as getting mad at a woman with morning sickness for vomiting.

I’ll finish this treatment and continue my current meds but I’m done. Either it works or it doesn’t but I did everything in my power and will be able to hang myself without regret.

Well I won’t mince words here. But I read your statement and frankly the only one that sticks out is Will be able to hang myself without regret. Please don’t..I get it. I truly do. I am about 9 months out with the last treatment and think I need go and get a maintenance session or two. And fighting similar thoughts. It SUCKS for sure. Wanting to stop the world and get off. If only briefly. But what you are speaking of is FINAL.

Now without me sounding like I KNOW YOU. Because I only understand YOU as a fellow sufferer. But your experiences is what makes you…well YOU. As mine make me …Me. I first want to also Thank you for your services.

Wonder..do you have someone to talk with? Someone in your life? Family, children? I know you must see a Dr for the Medicine but anyone just to talk with? I get it if you do and it doesn’t help as well. I also get it if you do have a family and they just don’t get it. But they want to.

Perspective is something each individual has. And someone that doesn’t truly get OURS, well it frustrates me when I am trying to explain how I am feeling and what made me react to something and they just don’t see the correlation and then I feel NUTS and even angrier. And isolate myself into my RENTED room. And limit my interaction with them and the world till my attitude adjusts. Which SUCKS because they don’t actually give you the space. But poke at you like a bear in a cage with stupid comments. Well I don’t want to make this about me.

So the treatment didn’t work. And I don’t know you, or your situation totally. I am sad for you that it did not at least give you some relief. I fear for you in your final statement. And only wonder what can be said to help you NOT. And coming in Short in my words. Try and calm your mind if only for a minute. Try and listen to a song and truly hear it. Be alone but purge yourself of feelings and thoughts if you can. It takes practice to do this. But could help in the end. I have to remind myself often to do it. Because in the chaos I forget. And right now I am going through something myself that warrants all the input I am saying. Yet I can’t find the ability to do it. And I know I should. I know this message only touches briefly on my thoughts and I didn’t delve much..but I am willing to continue if any parts of my response helped and you wish or want to continue contact with someone and bounce ideas and things about.

We sufferers just want PEACE in our mind. As well as in our World.

Blessed Be to you.