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Well I won’t mince words here. But I read your statement and frankly the only one that sticks out is Will be able to hang myself without regret. Please don’t..I get it. I truly do. I am about 9 months out with the last treatment and think I need go and get a maintenance session or two. And fighting similar thoughts. It SUCKS for sure. Wanting to stop the world and get off. If only briefly. But what you are speaking of is FINAL.
Now without me sounding like I KNOW YOU. Because I only understand YOU as a fellow sufferer. But your experiences is what makes you…well YOU. As mine make me …Me. I first want to also Thank you for your services.
Wonder..do you have someone to talk with? Someone in your life? Family, children? I know you must see a Dr for the Medicine but anyone just to talk with? I get it if you do and it doesn’t help as well. I also get it if you do have a family and they just don’t get it. But they want to.
Perspective is something each individual has. And someone that doesn’t truly get OURS, well it frustrates me when I am trying to explain how I am feeling and what made me react to something and they just don’t see the correlation and then I feel NUTS and even angrier. And isolate myself into my RENTED room. And limit my interaction with them and the world till my attitude adjusts. Which SUCKS because they don’t actually give you the space. But poke at you like a bear in a cage with stupid comments. Well I don’t want to make this about me.
So the treatment didn’t work. And I don’t know you, or your situation totally. I am sad for you that it did not at least give you some relief. I fear for you in your final statement. And only wonder what can be said to help you NOT. And coming in Short in my words. Try and calm your mind if only for a minute. Try and listen to a song and truly hear it. Be alone but purge yourself of feelings and thoughts if you can. It takes practice to do this. But could help in the end. I have to remind myself often to do it. Because in the chaos I forget. And right now I am going through something myself that warrants all the input I am saying. Yet I can’t find the ability to do it. And I know I should. I know this message only touches briefly on my thoughts and I didn’t delve much..but I am willing to continue if any parts of my response helped and you wish or want to continue contact with someone and bounce ideas and things about.
We sufferers just want PEACE in our mind. As well as in our World.
Blessed Be to you.
TMS is not a glove that is going to fit all. And doing your research is applauded. As I did when I ventured into this and weighed this and ECT.
I am done with my treatments. It’s a month out and I still feel the benefits of it.
I was given through the years many drugs that had NO effect. Or yes brought promise in the beginning then fell short. Or the stacking of all the pills needed to function was killing my liver. So I was desperate. Sick and tired of being sick and tired.
My expectations were all over the map. But I actually didn’t have high hopes. And was surprised when I felt the veil lift and able to do things and see things like never before. Am I cured? Far from it. I think like any chronic illness you are never cured just better able to manage.
Today I can manage as I walk out into the world and TRY!
Oh I am very glad you shared..and it is true that the treatment has many unknowns. But like medication what works for one doesn’t work for another. Its a battle that know one person’s story is same. Similar maybe but truly never same. If that were the case we all would have the cookie cutter drug that voila works. I wish you well. And try not to get into your head to much. And just Be. I know its easier said then done.
Blessed Be to you and your family. And try to enjoy some of the holiday season in however you and your family celebrate. And by all means if you wish to continue chatting feel free.
Arizona..wow never been but photos are beautiful that I’ve seen.
Thanks for bringing some awareness.
Wow that is frightening. I don’t know what I would do if my situation got worse. I am still thinking clearer and although my energy is not up to where I wish it to be, do to actual physical issues, and not my mind. I can’t imagine going further into a rabbit hole like you have. It’s a struggle when untouched your mind messes with you. Even more when something you hoped would help you just makes it worse. We all are prisoners to this illness. I am sorry for you as well as your family. Its hard for loved ones to get us in the first place let alone see a change they thought for better just make you worse. So after seeing Dr Perera is there a game plan? Or like before taking medicines that don’t help and a even more intolerable mind and life. (and I am not saying directly that is you..our illness in general is.)
I guess with reading all this I am going to have to rethink my excitement in wanting the right side done. For my anxiety.
Blessed Be to you and your family. I know my words don’t do you any comfort but I am sorry.
Well I am near the end of my treatments and I received 36 treatments at 37 minute times. And about a week in I started feeling a difference. So with the less time it might take you a bit. Everyone is different that is for sure.
I really look forward to further conversations. I have not found many UP to Date chats with people receiving this treatment. And although I have had good results and layers falling away and I am becoming more aware. I know others might not. I went into this with as much information I could find. And understood Placebo effect. And I gave it the benefit of the doubt for sure. And am finding as each session comes and goes, new things happen. I actually was able to read a article in a magazine. Of course while waiting for my appointment. But prior…no way. Picture glances only. And would reread lines over and over. And I do have to truly focus. But that is even easier. I look forward to hearing your updates and happenings. I do hope you find relief. And Good Luck. Blessed Be!
So I am sorry for my delay in answering your comment on the HZ level. And my Tech has informed me that the machines settings are different and vary from each. I am using the https://neurostar.com/ and am at 120 percent. The max the machine goes. Hope this helps.
Alas, I went and found my paperwork and it does not say the hz. Just duration of treatment and pulses given. I just know they stepped up dosage and I am now receiving optimal dosage. I will inquire on Monday when I am in office. I had been off Medication for 5 years due to my liver issues. And seeking help discussed all the findings with Dr, and we came to TMS treatment. What I am finding now…is this. Suffering from depression your perception on situations are different then not being depressed. So therefore I am having to make adjustments in feelings and how to cope with things. And my health (physical) being is now more so in the forefront. And I am literally taking baby steps to regain strength and stamina. I care about moving forward where before I did not. I see my improvement as the onion layer metaphor. Peeling a layer at a time. And as they go they are becoming clearer to see through. Doctors can only read a book and understand what or how someone feels. They truly understanding is only a blanket that they look at and try to find your pattern on it. And to my understanding this treatment was to be giving to people not having good response to medication. But we all are not cookies cut with same shapes. I may have read you post wrongly but I see your underlying comments about this Dr. And feel you don’t quite trust him or enjoy his understanding. Maybe before you delve back into treatment with him. Take the time and find another one. I think I would. This was a life and death issue in my eyes (for me). And if I did not like or trusted my Doctor..I would not have went through this till I did.
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This reply was modified 8 years ago by
Gin Doloughan.
Well I do the left side and always have. And in all honesty I did not feel much till the second week. So that would have been treatment 4, 5, 6. And I had emotions but the gloom was rising. So although anxious and hypersensitive. I was becoming OK. I know the Tech, is not a Doctor so when I inquired about the right side, she might have just said they don’t do it meaning at their office. I know I was started on a 5 and up to the 10 now. I will find the paper to confirm those numbers. I believe that if your are a hypersensitive person it can seem and feel like a hammer hitting you. I bring my ipod in and play music as it makes the time pass faster and occupies my mind to not think about the noise and feeling of the pulses. I know everyone is different and handles things and reacts to things differently. But to get to this point to want this treatment you must have already been through much. Seeing it out might surprise you in the end. There is no guarantees in anything. But desperate people do desperate things. Hence both of us being here. I hope you find your answers and you get relief. I will find my hz number and get back with you, on here.
I too suffer from Bipolar Depression and was at my wits end to find a alternative to treatment. Was even drastically thinking of Electroshock. I have liver issues and to start or continue taking medicine that was NOT helping would do more harm then good. I have completed half of my TMS therapy treatments and have seen and felt improvement. I too found little info on this treatment other then the Neurostar website. And just brief testimonies from clients. Wanted a dialogue like this. Now I did go into this treatment with speculation and did not want the placebo effect to happen. And I don’t think it has. And this is truly helping. Subtle things of course but I don’t feel the same as I did. Now I was told that the treatment for use on the right side has not been approved. So I have a concern for your Dr even doing so. I might be wrong and he is right but I think you should question this. Either by calling another Dr who does the treatment or inquiring here. with someone. I do know studies are being done for anxiety issues for use on right side. Again don’t know if approved. I wish you luck in your treatment.
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This reply was modified 8 years ago by
