Robbie

I am a 54-year-old woman married for 33 years to a wonderful man.  I love reading, gardening and hope to get back to hiking and bicycling after I get my weight down and get my knee fixed surgically.  I am a homemaker at present.

I have had too many episodes of depression to count over the last 30 + years and they never really ended.  Some would not be as strong so I would use my energy to “climb” out of the depression as much as possible for as long as possible then I would withdraw and isolate.

The most memorable depressive episode of mine occurred as a sophomore in High School though I had had others earlier in my life, but none lasted as long.  I had my first anxiety/panic attack when I was 10 years old.

Since I isolate more and more as my depression and anxiety would escalate, I did not let people really know the depressed/anxious side of myself.  Once I felt I couldn’t hide it (it was shameful to me and I hated myself for being so weak), I would give 2 week notice if it was a job…I didn’t have close friends as I only let people in so far.  I would just disappear and rarely leave my home. My husband would have to pick up the slack as much as possible.  My psychiatrist would continue to try new meds and more therapy to help….so many different meds……either bad side effects, no effects or they would work a little while then the depression/anxiety would begin the same pattern.

I felt I was going to die soon…luckily we were able to get a loan for a treatment we were praying would help me: TMS.

I could not continue much longer in the state I was in and felt suicide or institutionalization was in my immediate future.  I now have a long road ahead, but I have a road!  Prior to the TMS treatments, there was no more “pavement” left for me.  If I sound dramatic, it is only because this experience has been dramatic.  How can a person who is facing a very real, seemingly incurable, painful disease in 23 days be a functioning, peaceful, mostly happy individual after 30 plus years of treatment that failed over and over again.

I noticed early on in the treatments that my thoughts were more positive during and after treatment and that, I had more energy.  It took a while for this to “stick”, but when it did I felt like a different person….I had been so very ill that in the beginning even a few seconds of relief meant everything to me.  Luckily, it continued to stay with me longer and longer.

NeuroStar TMS Therapy was different for me because I didn’t have to worry about weird side effects from oral medications…I also felt like the area of the brain that was causing the problem was being targeted without going on a long travel through my body and various organs as meds do.  I had already grown to feel that “chemical” treatment was not enough for my illness. TMS worked more quickly and the results were astounding in my opinion, especially after the 2nd week.

My very life was saved by this miraculous system that is virtually non-invasive and requires no hospitalization, IV’s, or special aftercare nor the higher risks of ECT.   It was not only my lifesaving antidepressant, it was my way back from a tortuous mental state that, after 30 plus years of treatment, once again was not responding to medicine or treatment.